Don't Have A Llama

The subject's got nothing to do with anything you're going to read. Well, I possibly need a haircut, but that's all the relevance there is.

It's actually been almost a month (or 3 weeks or something) since my last post, that's a while, innit? I've been writing (2 stories published) and seem to be going through a phase of FUCK I CAN'T WRITE MY HEAD'S GONNA ASPLODE again right now, which is why I'm writing this and not smut. Hmmmm.

So, after all the amazingness of the gigs and coming out of the other end of the post-gig depression, mainly by perving over pretty inky boys on the interwebs and snuggling friends, and a bit of quiet time because fuck all was happening, it's gotten pretty busy again. It's that time of the year when my birthday happens, the first snow falls, Xmas parties let you see your colleagues in a way you really don't want to see them and of course, Christmas.

My birthday was a pretty quiet affair this year because the previous 2 years have been massive fails and a friend stole my birthday weekend anyway. So I just birthday bombed HIS birthday, which was a success. I even got a present (flow light poi, so excited) and obviously claimed ALL the hugs. I also got a little bit trashed, but not as epically as last month. I'm a grown-up now *cough* *cough*

Snow happened last week, too, and as expected TFL went belly up. They weren't even entirely sure why, the messages ranged from ice on the tracks to signal failures, which just goes to show how much havoc a bit of frozen water can cause.

The work Xmas do was ok, weak cocktails and bad music. I left when the DJ broke out Gangnam Style, I have standards.

Overall, the time since my last post has been a pretty happy one. My life keeps changing in unexpected ways and I'm not entirely sure what to make of it, so I keep making it up as I go along.

Some things don't change.

Standing With Your Spotlight On Me

This is the gig round-up, because there has been an awesome amount of amazing gigs in my life in the past 10 days.

To start things off, THE USED supporting Evanescence at Wembley Arena on 9th November. I've never been to Wembley Arena before, I don't particularly like big venues, but there's this band obsession I've got and well, the things you do for love. So, Wembley Arena. Fits 12,500, which sounds bigger than the arena looked, but I trust them on this. I went there straight after work, which meant I had plenty time to get there and get myself organized once I was there. What I didn't expect was to bump into Dan and some of his friends. Didn't change my time plan one bit, but made my night a lot more awesome because sharing the experience with others always makes it better. It also meant I had people to make fun of the support-support with and people to help me get to the front who were just as excited about the Used and as indifferent about Evanescence than I was. Unfortunately most people in the audience were there to watch Evanescence and while the Used were awesome and totally rocked it, the audience were dead on their feet. As in, not moving. We tried to get a mosh pit going but failed and got angry looks. But hey, we tried. I watched the first few songs of Evanescence and then decided that I don't like them and left.

I almost managed to meet up with Jay after the gig because he was working around Wembley, but time wasn't on our side and I had to leave before he finished work.

Got home, showered, slept, showered again and made my way to Wood Green and Ally Pally for WARPED TOUR UK. I was early, mainly because TFL lies and had told me it would take 2 hours to get there. It took about 1.15 and I actually got to Alexandra Palace half an hour before the doors opened. There was quite an impressive queue in front of the gate but it was moving, because they were checking bags and tickets already and herding the people to another area, which meant once doors opened we could just walk in. Once inside I dumped my stuff in the cloak room and ventured to the Merch area, which turned out to be an insanely smart move as for most of the rest of the day you had to queue for about an hour to get in there. I acquired a Used t-shirt and checked out the other stuff, then wandered off to check out the rest of the venue. Ally Pally fits about 10,000 people and it was sold out, which meant there were serious crowds going on. The queues everywhere, and the insanely rude and stressed security, were the only downsides (if quite big ones). You couldn't get to parts of the venue at times or had to queue for quite some time to get there, which sucked. The rest of the organization was pretty impressive for what I've seen in the UK so far. You got a running order booklet, the bands actually started on time, they had shuttle busses running to the station after the show. As for the line up, well, that was pretty fucking awesome. And yes, it did feature The Used as special guest secret headliners.

The Used were on in the early evening and the show started at 2pm, which meant I had loads of time to check out other bands. Let us explore:

Band that opened the main stage and did a really fucking awesome job at it:
The Story So Far (they're also masters in the moshing-with-our-backs-to-the audience category)

Band with a name that I'm not entirely sure about:
The IT Boys (still not sure what they were all about)

Band I missed because I got distracted by the skate ramp and food:
AWOLnation

Band with the worst fashion sense:
No, not the Used (for once), but Blood On The Dancefloor (a skeleton morph suit thing on a chubby guy is not a good look, also, what were you thinking with the facepaint? Not impressed by the music, either)

Band I accidentally really liked:
Man Overboard (they were good!) - missed Breathe Carolina because of them...

Band with the most deceptive name:
Architects (seriously, I was expecting fluffy electronica and they almost paralysed me with metal, not impressed - I went to watch skateboarders instead)

Band I only watched because I was getting myself in position for the Used, but who really rocked:
3OH!3 (ridiculous name, ridiculous tunes, but really fucking catchy - I danced)

Band I thought sounded familiar and ended up knowing most of the songs of:
New Found Glory (on the East Stage while I was squeezed in second row of the West Stage)

Band I came there to see and who absolutely fucking smashed it:
THE USED (we need to talk about their fashion sense at some point, really, we do)

I left the main stage(s) behind at this point because it was getting crowded and focussed my attention on the side stage to watch:

Band that had the audience going like a rocket and best stage banter:
Less Than Jake (so much fun)

Band I was excited about which didn't quite live up to it:
Bowling For Soup (they were still good, though)

Most surreal moment of the day:
sitting in the portaloo at the back of the main room while Lost Prophets launched into Last Train Home. The portaloo fucking shook! Almost panicked and probably never peed that fast in my life...

The main stage set up for Warped is great, basically the main stage is split in West and East and while a band is playing on one side, the band on the other side is setting up - which means there are almost no breaks! Awesome idea, wish more festivals would do this. Also, each band (except for the headlining headliners) only gets 30 minutes, which means they all give their best to kill you.

Overall, I really enjoyed Warped and will return next year if the line up is as good as this year. Would be nice if they find a better venue than Ally Pally, though...

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the main event in the smallest venue so far:

THE USED in the Luxor in Koeln. I knew the venue from the time I lived in Cologne, it's absolutely tiny (500 capacity, fuck yeah) and not only did it  mean I would see the Used up close and kinda personal, I also managed to meet up with a lovely friend of mine. The gig was the best so far, the Used seemed to really enjoy the small venue and I got to touch Bert... it's hard to describe the awesomeness, so here's a picture:

Yes, that mic is Jepha's and I was standing right in front of him. He's even cuter up close...

I'm now in the throes of a massive post-gig depression. I NEED MORE THE USED!!!!
(I might get it, there was mention of a headlining tour next year, yay!)

I also got a cold.

Send pretty inky boys to my rescue...

The Sharpest Lives

So, there was a party in my block of flats last night, a proper BLOCK party at that. The occasion was Guy Fawkes day, there wasn't a bonfire but a shitload of fireworks and every single flat in the house (9 in total) had people over for a get-together. I'd only managed to get one of my friends down, but flatmate had a few local friends over, there was booze and food and even some poi spinning because that just seems to happen when I'm involved. Ended up crashing the downstairs neighbours party after midnight and proceeded to get quite drunk and stumble back into my own flat around 3am. I'm a tad hungover today, the second time this week which seeing that I don't really drink that often (which means if I do I get drunk really fucking fast) is a bit of a record.

I went to see The Fields Of The Nephilim on Wednesday with Kenneth. Now, I've tried being a goth for about 3 months when I was 15 and mainly because I had a crush on the token goth in my year. It wasn't a particularly successful endeavour because I'm generally a pretty happy person and while I do like wearing black, I'm useless at doing elaborate make-up and like my music hard and fast (that actually hasn't changed that much over the years). I encountered the Nephilim a few times in my gigging life, though, mainly a supports for bands I was following or at festivals. To cut it short, I only really know one song (Moonchild, a true goth marvel) but thought I'd tag along for good ol' times sake and to potentially laugh at some goths. It started out with a few drinks in the pub because we decided that we don't need to see the support act and went on with more drinks at the venue. By the time Nephilim came on I was just a little bit shitfaced and probably giggling way to much to pull off any remaining goth-ness, but seeing that we were on level 3 (I didn't even know it existed) of the Shepherd's Bush Empire that didn't matter too much. It actually was a pretty good gig, there were attempts at moshing which deserve kudos for dedication to the cause because the music is not really fast enough to pull off proper moshing and Nephilim were solid in terms of sound. What made it awesome was watching my friend, a closet Nephilim fan for most his life, get into the music. He was air-drumming! And singing along! I was impressed and seeing him so excited made me go all excited. It was really, really good.

Work the next wasn't all that great, I'm not used to being that kind of hung over but managed to pull through.

I'm now gearing up for THE USED and WARPED (very, very, very likely including THE USED) next weekend, which will be beyond awesome (I hope. I'm pretty certain it will be.)

Oh, and I've published a story again! The crazies are somewhat coming back, huzzah! Unfortunately it wasn't one of the ones on my WIP list, NO, I had to go adopt a stray bunny from a newly discovered community, but I wrote the shit in two days and I'm finally making progress with teh words in some of the WIPs now.

Did I mention I'm excited about next weekend? Did I?

IMGOINGTOSEETHEFUCKINGUSED!!!!!

Here, have a picture:

*squeeeeeee*

Little Things

So, I went out last weekend. And it was a whole lot of fun and got a bit messy. Ok, it did get really messy, but in an entirely good way. I didn't get laid, but I had an awesome time hanging out with my friends, got loads of cuddles and accidentally managed to get insanely stoned. Well, maybe not that accidentally, I did eat the weed brownies after all, I just didn't expect them to be that strong. Cue epic trashedness and subsequently a rather scenic trip home (I thought I'd sobered up, turned out I was wrong). Good times, anyway.

Unsurprisingly, this week was a bit slow, but not as bad as expected. I'm being insanely good this weekend, mainly because nothing's happening anywhere. There may be shenanigans next week, so I'm saving my energy.

Writing's still going slow and it's still driving me mad. If there's a way to induce a manic episode I haven't found it yet, which is woeful. I get the occasional glimpse of greatness, thoughts flowing like they used to, and then it stops again. The words come out all wrong, even though the movie in my head is there. Not sure how people ever manage to write books, but maybe they don't have my head. Ok, they most certainly don't have my head because otherwise there would be a lot more well written pornography around.

It's 3 weeks to The Used and Warped, and currently it looks like that weekend will be made even sweeter by a friend from Canada coming to visit. And then I'm going to Germany to see The Used AGAIN and then winter's coming and we're all doomed.

I need a holiday.

No Use For A Title

I wish my head would stop feeling like a clogged up sink. There's all these thoughts that could become stories if I'd only managed to get the movie in my head transformed into words that are more than a quick outline. It's so annoying, but I just can't find a way to make the words flow easily again.

Not sure if it's got anything to do with what my life is doing at the moment, I'm kinda busy at work and occasionally stressed at home, mainly due to the fact that my flatmate's boyfriend lover fuckbuddy keeps hanging out at ours because he lives in a fucking hostel and of course our flat's nicer and she's crazy/in love enough with him that she's happy about it. I know it's bad and I shouldn't even think it, but I really wish they'd stop seeing each other. I can't even explain why I don't like him, I see him and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I just want to leave the room. Which is what I did last weekend when they joined me in the living room. They didn't get the hint. I've now taken to blatantly tell my flatmate that she should keep him the fuck away from me, but our flat is small and just his presence is pissing me off. They're loud and even though I try to blank it out as much as possible, but I can still hear him spouting bullshit and her giggling because she believes him. Argh.

A propos spouting bullshit, the guy that's been chasing me for months now (because until a few weeks ago he was married and I've got principles and I wasn't that insanely interested in the first place) came over last weekend after a spontaneous texting session and me being horny enough to consider it. I'd like to say the build-up lived up to reality, but unfortunately it really didn't. He's pretty 'n all, but he's so full of himself it's almost funny (if it wasn't so sad) and I'm convinced he actually thinks I believed a word he was saying. Needless to say, the sex was rather unimpressive but it was sex and I needed to get laid, so there's that. He gets a point for persistence but unfortunately zero points for personality or performance. Won't be calling him again, then.

On a more cheerful note and decidedly better on the sexytimes scales was a text message exchange with a lovely and very sexy friend of mine. Not only was it an awesome distraction at work today, it was also very inspirational in terms of writing and so very very HOT (at one point I had to escape to the toilet because ohmyfuckinggod I needed to catch my breath). I need more texts and friends like that, my life would be perfect.

While I haven't been writing an awful lot, I have been trailing the interwebs for stuff to read. It's kinda comforting that there's a lot of really not that great fic around, which makes me feel better about being a perfectionist and the feedback I get, but it's also annoying because I need nice stories to keep me distracted. It's so weird that I have been reading constantly for months now, but haven't bought a book for just as long. I'm tempted to get some literature on my kindle soon, but I fear I'll be endlessly disappointed that there's not sex in the story.

Other noteworthy things that happened:

• A Burning Man planning session, it's looking good but it's still so far away that all kinds of shit can happen, so I'm trying to not get too excited *is excited*
• I've met a friend's new bf and he's nice and I can see that he's really good for her. I wish I could find someone that I can fall in love with that also falls in love with me, I don't know how other people do it.
• I seem to have agreed to accompany a friend to a Fields Of The Nephilim gig in a fit of madness. Bring on the goth!
• My excitement that I'm going to see The Used at least twice (most likely 3 times) in November knows no boundaries *is extremely excited, even more than for Burning Man because it's next month and not next year*

Catch! Up!

I've been living in my head quite a bit in the last few weeks. I usually have AWESOME ideas for blog posts when I'm in bed and trying to go to sleep, but they're usually gone in the morning. I probably should just write them down, I've got a writing pad near my bed in case a story hits me, because stories are way more annoying than ideas and thoughts and THEY DON'T GO AWAY until I write them down. Hasn't happened for a while, unfortunately, but it could any minute which is why I also lug a writing pad around in my backpack when I'm on the train because rolling a story around in your head for an hour is really exhausting.

But I think a catch up is in order, because I've actually done stuff in the last few weeks that was pretty cool.

Like going to the Hide & Seek Weekender in the Royal Festival Hall. I've tried to drag friends along but they were their usual flaky selves, so I just went on my own. I unintentionally arrived when they had just started, so I got to take advantage of not having to battle to get into a game. Played Killer Queen, which was a lot like capture the flag but not, with food (balls), swords (for sending people back to their base), a bomb (which you could use to blow up your opponents base) and a queen (with 3 crowns, aka 3 lives). It was awesome and a pretty good workout as it involved frantic running around to grab food, kill people and drag that bloody bomb along. I then waited around for half an hour, catching my breath, and got to play Alien Encounter where I was a monster looking for food and trying not to get killed by the agents. Also got to play Searchlight, which was totally rad. I didn't get to punch the custard (was just what it said on the tin) because there was a queue and I was hungry. So, yeah, really good afternoon, although I've got the feeling that the Hide & Seek guys are going to go back to doing evenings as they were slightly pissed off about all the parents dumping their children at the games.

Then there was Beardyman, who done a gig at the Koko last Saturday. I was a bit surprised to see it went from 9pm to 3am, because that's a fucking awkward time frame for a gig, but bought a ticket anyway and then proceeded to try and convinced people to come along. Managed to talk my flatmate into it (by showing her loads of Beardyman stuff on youtube) and we rocked up at Koko at 10pm. It was no re-entry, which is always a bit shit, and it was even worse when we saw the running order. For reasons unknown to mankind, Beardyman was on last at 1.30am. He had 2 DJs and one DJ crew supporting, which could have been fun but wasn't really because they weren't all that great. But, hey, my flatmate was buying me drinks and there were guys to look at (even though I didn't want to take any of them home) and Beardyman was actually pretty cool. Judging by his facebook page some people were annoyed that he didn't do more beatboxing and/or stand up, but it was a club gig and he usually does sounds & looping stuff when he does those, so I was pretty ok with what surfaced. Could've done with it not going all that late because by the end I was somewhat tired (and a bit tipsy, I'm a total lightweight). Flatmate fell asleep on me on the nightbus, but all in all it wasn't too bad getting home (1 hour and 2 busses, which is pretty good for London standards).

I also caught up with Cherelle and got the latest on her new boyfriend. Haven't met him yet, but will next weekend. The boy might be useful and Cherelle is happy and all is good.

Last night I went to South Bank for a friend's birthday. He doesn't run with my usual crowd, so I got to chat with loads of people I don't hang out with that often which was cool. We went for dinner at Ping Pong and I can confirm that I still don't particularly like dim sum. I just don't see the point of sticky dumplings that aren't seasoned well enough. Give me sushi any time, but drop the fucking dumpling.

Coming up is a Burning Man planning session (second attempt) and a long weekend without the flatmate. I've got Friday off because I had to use the day or lose it (I'm NOT losing any holiday, fuck no) but no plans. I'm sure I'll find something to keep me occupied, tho. I always do.

Madly, Deeply

So, THE USED are touring again. There still hasn't been an announcement regarding a possible appearance at Warped, and while there is an ominous 2 day gap in their schedule between their support gig at Wembley and a show in Utrecht the closer it gets to November, the less likely it is that they'll join Warped.

I've kinda solved the problem by buying a ticket for their show in Cologne. This might sound crazy unless you know that I'm in fact German, have lived in Cologne for 5 years and my parents live only 45 mins drive away. The gig's on a Thursday, which means I can fly out on Wednesday evening after work, hijack my mum's car the next day to go to Cologne (unless I manage to convince a friend to come along & drive), possibly meet up with a friend in Cologne before rocking the fuck out to The Used playing a rather small venue. AND I get a long weekend with my parents before Christmas, which means they can't complain they never see me and I can chill. I'm insanely happy about all of this and it's probably the fastest I've ever booked flights. The whole deal was sealed in less than an hour and I'm the QUEEN of procrastination.

In a bout of madness I've also got myself a ticket for that Evanescence gig The Used are supporting/special guesting. I can always fuck off after they're done and I just need to see them goddamnit. I'll still go to Warped, The Used or not, because of pretty skater bois and some decent punk bands on the line up.

\m/

In regards to music, I've found myself branching out a little after bingeing on The Used for, like, evar. Again, thanks to fanfic pointing me in the right direction (it's probably safe to say by now that Fanfic not quite saved my life but certainly made it a lot more awesome), I've started crushing on My Chemical Romance. Just a little, nothing compared to my infatuation with The Used.

There is music that's like an acquaintance, someone you meet at a party now and again and it's nice chatting to them and maybe have a boogie, but it's pretty much take it or leave it, no harsh feelings if you don't call the next day and don't meet up for a month or two.

Then there's music that's like your best friend (quite possibly the one with benefits) or a really good hug, or a best friend that gives really good hugs (and occasionally fucks you, just sayin'). You can wrap it around you like a blanket when you feel bad and it'll keep you warm. At the moment, My Chemical Romance's The Kid's From Yesterday or The Used's On My Own do that to me. They make my brain purr and my eyes cross and shivers run down my spine.

And then there's music that grabs you, smashes you against the wall and fucks you hard and fast and leaves you bruised, sore and breathless and you can't wait to do it again, and again, and again. Soundeffects & Overdramatics from The Used is like that and Vampire Money from My Chemical Romance.

Needless to say, the last two are the ones you want in your life and I'm really fucking glad I finally have them back. I missed them so much!

Oh, and talking about fanfic, I've finished another story. None of the ones I should be finishing because that would just be too easy, no, I spontaneously wrote a new one and because that one had a deadline of today I actually got my shit together and got it out just in time. There's 5 fic hanging about that need to be done by end of this year, well, ideally I should write another 5 because the first 5 are for a bingo challenge and I kinda want to gather a few more points. Obviously, I have to get the first bingo done before I can start on the next.

The crazyness monkeys still haven't visited my tree, which is sad. I get the occasional glimpse and then they're gone again and it's driving me mad, but not in the desired way. I'm hoping that going out will kickstart things again, I've got parties and gigs lined up. I might have to recruit a new lover or two, because the young one is getting a bit boring and currently wants to talk more than he wants to fuck and I'm not that interested in talking, really. Well, no one expected this to last, and I'm pretty sure there's more prettiness to be found elsewhere...