All Change, Please?

It's happened.

The other team at work now has a researcher for my channels.

I'm totally not amused.

I basically found out by accident at a meeting last week, which suddenly featured someone else taking over responsibilities I used to have. The head of the department actually had the nerve to deny that they're doing anything! Anyway, most of my day-to-day business has suddenly vanished. My boss still has his head deep in the sand and keeps telling me that there is plenty of work to go around & there is no reason to be worried.

Yeah, right.

I've also had my PDP last week (you know, that once-a-year talk you have with your boss that should result in a pay rise & possibly a promotion). Everybody's really happy with my work, I've improved loads since my last review 6 months ago BUT I'm not good enough to warrant a 4 (marks go from 1, which most likely result in you immediately getting fired, to 5, which is godlike) although apparently I'm "just between a 3 and a 4". I'm not getting a pay rise coz "they don't do that" and definitely no promotion as I'm still not "quite there", whilst there wasn't a proper explanation what's still missing.

I'm so not impressed.

Both factors have prompted me to update my CV (making it sound a bit more shiny than it is, hey, we're selling the goods here). I haven't send it out yet, but am contemplating getting a nice email ready later tonight. I've now reached the point where I'm thinking about updating my German CV & getting it out there as well.

I'm so sick of the whole situation.

If it was just the job I could probably man up & deal with it. But there's also the living situation to consider which honestly is starting to grate. I'm sick of living in shitty flats, sharing with other people and paying extortionate amounts of money for something that's about to fall down on me.

Problem is, it's not that easy to go back to Germany. Jobs in my field are hard to come by as there's less TV stations around and I'm not particularly keen to change or, god beware, work in an agency. I'm very tempted to just drop everything & just go live with my parents for a while, but at this point I'm not quite desperate enough (and my brother's recently taken up residence there while he's building his house, it could get rather crowded).

I'm currently planning as far ahead as Burning Man end of August. The flight's booked from Heathrow & I'd rather have a job to go back to this time.

So for the moment I'm staying on this bloody island, continue hunting for a space worth living in & a job that is worth all the effort I put into it.

Party, Stealth, Relax

I've been busy. Sorry. In the past 3 weeks I've

* partied with friends & lost sleep at an afterparty * tried to be stealthy on SouthBank & failed * didn't do yoga for a full week & felt guilty * went to Germany * slept for 10+ hours each night for a long weekend * ate home-cooked food I didn't have to cook myself * bathed in hot springs & relaxed on warm sand * spent hours reading on the balcony & finished 2 books * went shopping for summer dresses (more to come) * went back to yoga & enjoyed it muchly *

The Easter Weekend was busy, the long weekend of the Royal Wedding was insanely relaxing. I didn't even realize I was so sleep-deprived & stressed until I stopped being sleep-deprived & stressed. Going back to Germany always chills me out of London rushing around mode.

I've finally gathered enough strength & momentum to have a serious look at my living situation. This has so far resulted in quite a bit of frustration, as London has gotten more expensive than I'd thought. I'm not giving up yet, though. I might have to revisit areas, maybe change plans, but it's gonna happen this year.

On body-related news, I'm currently a bit behind in my yoga practice but should be back in the heat & humidity tomorrow evening (after a shopping trip, ahem). I'm reading Eat To Live which basically advocates a mainly vegan diet, it's very well researched & I'm planning to give it a try. I haven't quite figured out how to tackle it yet, it's quite strict on the no salt & no sugar thing, but it allows huge amounts of veg, beans & other tasty stuff so should be do-able. In a way it's very similar to 4-hour Body/4-hour Diet, only that this approach allows meat & a cheat day, which Eat To Live doesn't, really. Colleagues keep pointing out that I'm eating pretty healthy (there's also been suggestions that I supply lunch for the department), which might be true compared to what they eat, but I still consume huge amounts of sweets & chocolate.

So for the time being & until I've finished reading the book I'm aiming at eating more salads, veg, beans & tofu/seitan/tempeh and less carbs/sugar.

I want to be in shape in time for Burning Man - I'm planning on wearing loads of cute outfits which just won't fit at the moment (there's this tiny skirt I've bought years ago which I'd really, really want to introduce to the desert).

* engage Life-Changing-Mode*