Tell No One

Last night Babs & I went to Secret Cinema's latest event. It clashed quite spectacularly with Planet Angel's Valentine's Ball, which was unfortunate, but I'd bought the ticket back in November for their December event which didn't happen & it got transferred to the next event which took place yesterday.

As always, we didn't have a clue what they would be showing, the only thing we could be certain about what that it would've been incorporated into an impressive show. The dress code was late 40's, which I totally didn't do as I've got no 40's style clothes & couldn't really be bothered to get just for this one evening. So I rocked up in a nice skirt, jumper & boots, which was fine as the place actually was a bit chilly.

We were told to gather at Wapping station at 6.30pm, where we got collected by the Secret Cinema actors who staged a protest, drawing us in & urging us to follow them. So we paraded down Wapping's streets, shouting out our slogans & trying to no get run over by taxis & busses. Our little procession ended at the Tobacco Dock, where we joined the impressive queue. Waiting wasn't all that bad, though, in true Secret Cinema style actors entertained us throughout our wait. Apparently we were queuing up to audition as dancers! Once inside, we started exploring the venue. We seemed to have been transported to 1940's Covent Garden which also doubled as a theatre, complete with make-up rooms, dressing rooms & ballet rehearsal spaces. Downstairs was more market like, with flowers stalls & food vendors, a bar or two & shops. Everything very much hinted towards theatre & ballet, with red ballet shoes featuring rather prominently. Babs had a cupcake while I got a bag of white chocolate popcorn (absolutely yummy!), we watched performers & engaged in conversations with the actors.

It all culminated in a giant dance performance, which ended in a girl almost jumping off a balcony (erm, an actor, obviously) & then got ushered into the cinemas on the upper floor. By that time we kinda were sure that they would be showing "The Red Shoes", which got confirmed after the obligatory short films & Windows advertisements (Secret Cinema's sponsor) had ended. I can't say that I was particularly excited by the choice of movie, maybe they were trying to surf the wave of Black Swan. The Red Shoes felt quite slow & dated (no wonder, it's from 1948), I probably didn't fully appreciate the nostalgia & it being a controversial movie back then. The venue being rather chilly & the chairs pretty uncomfortable didn't help, so we ended up leaving before the end of the film to make sure we catch the last train back into civilization (i.e. to Canada Water & then to Green Park).

All in all it was a very enjoyable experience, having white chocolate popcorn for dinner was rather nice & Secret Cinema's ability to create a wonderful event around a not so interesting movie is impressive. It did feel a bit mass-produced, though, their events keep getting bigger & bigger while being quite expensive (£27.50) - they must make a killing from it & the underground feel some of the earlier events still had is completely gone now. I'll still go again because it's amazing & a good night out, but I also feel the time has come to hunt for the next big thing.

Not Long Now...

I've managed to pinch/inflame a nerve again. It's usually the sciatica nerve, which starts somewhere in the lower back and goes all the way down the legs. It hurts & it's starting to really annoy me now. I know that my lower spine is too wobbly, two of the vertebraes that should be joined by bone/cartillage instead of discs aren't, causing them to move & put pressure on the nerves in my back.

It's gotten a lot worse in recent years, probably due to me not exercising anymore. And then, when I do exercise, I make matters worse because I'm so unfit & stiff that stuff just goes wrong. A friend recently completed a 30 day Bikram yoga challenge & I think that's a wonderful idea for when I'm back from India. Things really can't get much worse.

Oh, and despite having the feeling that I lost some weight, the scales last night clearly showed I haven't. I'm almost at my highest weight ever, which means most of my clothes don't fit & I feel like a walrus. Not the best thing if you're going on holiday in a few days.

I'm not happy.

I've also had the sneaking suspicion that my thyroid might be the problem for a while now, I'm always feeling cold, don't sleep well/am tired, then there's the weight issue. To finally get things checked out, I've made an appointment with my new GP on the day before I go on holiday. I don't expect things to get sorted before I leave, he's probably going to order a blood test (if I'm lucky) which of course they can't do on the same day so I'm counting on having to go back when I'm back in the UK. But at least I've started the process. My thyroid has always been on the lower end of normal, which is bloody annoying as I'm pretty sure it's not quite right, so in a way I'm actually hoping it's now gone off the cliff & they need to do something about it.

Quite likely I'm also insanely stressed. The tiniest things piss me off no end & everything just seems to be so much work.

My holiday should be nice & relaxing, despite being on the go most of the days the trip I've booked features loads of sitting around on houseboats & traveling on busses. I've got everything sorted now, all that's left is some washing & the dreaded suitcase packing.

Tomorrow I'm off to Secret Cinema & then it's 2 more days at work & I'm out. Hooray!

Grains, Beans & Veggies

I've been investigating a macrobiotic diet recently. Just like becoming a dietary vegan (well, most of the time), the whole macrobiotic idea just snuck up on me. I never made a conscious choice to become vegan, it just seemed to happen rather naturally. At some point I obviously made the decision to just stop eating meat, dairy & eggs, but the process was gradual, involved dabbling with the idea for a while & then my body made the decision for me by loosing interest in the stuff.

Those who know me know that I'm not strict in being vegan, I took a break from the whole situation over Christmas while at my parents (and suffered for it afterwards, I felt really yucky for a week), I eat fish occasionally & seem to totally forget how bad milk chocolate is for my body every time I see it (selective chocolate memory). I now manage to stay away from creamy cakes because the gas I get from eating them is just not funny for anyone around me (it also hurts quite a lot).

All of this means that I never struggled with my dietary choices. I'm getting more strict with being vegan now because of the way it makes me feel, I never want to feel like when I was eating loads of meat & dairy ever again. Summer will probably see another raw vegan phase, but it's too cold for that now.

And now macrobiotics are happening to me.

I've become more & more interested in rather simple food, loads of Japanese things, mainly. I love how good things taste if you just leave them as they are & not smother them in sauces. Cold soba noodles with pan-cooked pak choi (or spinach or rocket salad) have become one of my favourite dinners. This weekend I discovered mochi, sweet rice filled with peanut butter or coconut (or bean paste, but I'm not a big fan of this). Leading on from there I searched the web for more things Japanese & somehow stumbled upon the word "macrobiotic". I was fascinated.

I've bought the book "The Kind Diet" (by Alicia Silverstone) a few weeks ago, it's nice & a great introduction to veganism & macrobiotics. The whole vegan stuff I already knew, but it was still good to read that I'm doing the right thing. She calls macrobiotic foods "Superhero foods", which in a way they are because they do so much for you. Despite all of that, I doubt that I'll become a full macrobiotic devotee anytime soon - it's much more complicated than just being vegan. But I'm intending to incorporate some of it into my current diet & started with having miso soup for my at-home-breakfast (I have a proper breakfast at work) instead of my smoothie which was giving me a bit of an unwanted sugar kick in the morning. It took a bit of experimenting, finding the right type of miso (shiromiso is great as it's not too offensively strong) & dosage (about 1 teaspoon per cup seems to work quite well). I don't use dashi stock as a base just yet because I don't have it, but just the paste is alright so far.

Unfortunately my period started yesterday & since then my stomach has turned into a bottomless pit. It does that sometimes & not matter how much I eat, it isn't enough. This really annoys me as I've been quite good recently & think I actually lost a bit of weight - I don't want to gain it all again just because my hormones are going a bit mental. So after 2 days of pigging out I've promised myself to be good again tomorrow (I'm not going to eat any more tonight, no way).

After all, there is a holiday to go to in a week & I want to wear my summer clothes without feeling like a sausage...

Hiding

Ok, this whole getting myself out there & being sociable thing so didn't work. It was more like that I just wanted to curl up in my bed every evening after work. Oh, and stick the heating on. And wear the most baggy & cozy clothes I could find.

I did do yoga twice so far & I actually think my eating healthy (well, trying to) is paying off as my jeans aren't quite as tight as they were after Christmas. They're still far from loose & comfy, though. I've got huge plans for when I come back from holiday. There will be a cleanse & a sugar detox (coz that stuff is evil) - people might want to stay as far away as possible when I do this. I'm also planning on joining the gym at work, it only costs £15 or so, my fitness levels are far from desirable at the moment & anything that makes me feel less sluggish is good.

On a totally different note, my brother is planning a visit to London. I'm seriously excited about this & already hunting for amazing stuff to show him & events to take him to. Having people come visit me always makes me nervous. I want them to have an amazing time & very much feel responsible if they don't.

In terms of holiday preparation, I think I'm almost there. I've got a travel insurance (although I'm not convinced that they're actually going to be of much help if something happens), I've changed all my in-flight meals to vegetarian (which for Emirates equals vegan, they're not taking any chances) & I've told my bank that I'm intending to use my card abroad. Still need to let my credit card company know & buy some of them cute little travel-size toiletries. Oh, and I obviously still need to panic, I'm planning to start doing this about 3 days prior to take-off.

Plans for this weekend include watching TV (tonight), a games night in North London (tomorrow) & a potential trip to Camden (Sunday, if the weather is nice). I'm also getting a haircut. Yay.

And now please excuse me while I snuggle up under my amazing duvet.