This Is Me

Source: virtualjepha/instagram

Time has passed, things have happened.

I went to visit my family in Germany, which was lovely but the epiphany of uneventful. Ate a lot of strawberry cake and strawberries, built a bbq, amused my brother’s cat and sat on the balcony (reading p*rn). Tried to catch up on sleep, but am still struggling. My body just doesn’t want to be tired at reasonable times and it's way too easy to stay awake.


Had a bit of a chuckle in Heathrow T5’s shops when I misread “The Queen’s Beasts” as “The Queen’s Breasts” and briefly wondered why the fuck they're selling boobs and why anyone would want the Queen's ones. No, I don’t know what the product was, didn’t check because I immediately got distracted by the sparkly floor. I like how my brain acts like it’s on drugs even when it’s not. Just for the record, I’m not on drugs that often, not half as much as I’d like to be because I’m responsible and stuff. 


I also don’t get laid half as much as I’d like to. Just sayin’.


Managed to write more fic which is mostly fragments at the moment because I keep coming up with interesting bits that don’t fit into existing bits. I need to get a proper writing pad because my current one is a bit rubbish and seriously uninspiring. There is a definite need to have a writing pad, because I don’t have a computer small enough to carry with me at all times and inspiration has this very annoying habit of jumping me when I least expect it (like, seconds before I fall asleep or on the train). And once it hits it just doesn’t go away and keeps poking me until I write everything down. My muse doesn’t so much kiss me as punch me in the face and kick me when I'm down. Trust me when picking a muse to get the one with the attitude problem. I’ve also got the suspicion that it goes out drinking and hangs out in seedy places…


I haven’t stopped mainlining The Used since I discovered them. It’s not a issue as such because they’re awesome, but I’m getting a feeling that everybody around me is slightly sick of hearing me go on about them. Or how cute Jepha Howard is (because he is cute and sexy and the hottest bassist alive and insanely zen and simply amazing).


Coming up is a weekend of party, afterparty, possible death by afterparty, picnic and/or birthday celebrations and maybe some shopping. Thank god it’s the Queen’s Jubilee and a very long weekend, otherwise all of that wouldn’t fit.

Updatage

I've posted the last entry and then realized that I forgot to ramble aimlessly update on other stuff that's been going on.

First, the 'date'. Well, technically it wasn't a date because I don't do dates. They freak me out. Way too much commitment and too many expectations. Don't wanna deal with that. But yeah, I might have met up with someone from OKC. He was wearing white fluffy bunny ears in his profile pic and sounded interesting, and hey, bunny ears. We spent a nice evening chatting and wandering about London, had a few drinks and some nachos, alas, chemistry we had none. Good thing that it wasn't a date, then, otherwise parties involved might have been disappointed. Feel relaxed now that I have my compulsory one OKC-date a year over and done with.

I'm emailing another guy at the moment, too. Until last week I'd been emailing one more guy, but after 2 weeks of messages he still hasn't made any attempt to ask me out or even hinted that he'd like to meet me so that I can ask him out (I'm all equal opportunity and shit). It's clearly not going anywhere and I honestly don't need a penpal. So, just one guy left standing. Might drag him out to a party at some point, he's agreed to that and seems pretty keen.

In regards to the goings-on inside my head, it's still a pretty interesting place. I've finished and posted my first fanfic. I'm rather proud to actually have worked up the nerve to do it, it's the first time something I've written has made it to publication, even if it's just on LJ. I'm working on another fic now, what can I say, it's a slippery slope and I'm having a lot of fun going down...

The fic is posted on my LJ which is friends-locked.

Plans for the upcoming weeks include a trip to Germany (next weekend), a big, messy weekend (which is the Jubilee Weekend) and more parties (ongoing). Also, a festival (Glade).

Yay!

Adventures In Dots

I've been battling bursts of insomnia all week, do get them occasionally and usually don't mind too much because I know that at some point I'll be able to sleep again. Unfortunately, it does interfere with my social life.

I was supposed to go out last night, had the ticket & everything, but the thought of fucking my sleep patterns even further didn't sound like a particularly good idea. So I stayed in, messed around on the internet for a bit and went to bed at 1am and actually managed to pass out around 2 only to wake up again at 8. Seriously not impressed with my body at the moment. I stubbornly stayed in bed until 10, because getting up at single digits on the weekend is just not on, got myself some tea and waited for my flatmate to come home. She'd gone to some circuit training thing in the park, which is impressive if you take into account that she doesn't even manage to get out of bed on time when she's got to go to work, and returned when I'd just finished my breakfast (jaffa cakes & cereal with soy yogurt, we're not discussing my eating habits here...).

We pottered around for a bit, some hoovering ensued, showers were had, and then we headed to the station and got the train to Waterloo. Had some food at the Real Food Market behind the Royal Festival Hall, then trekked over to the Tate Modern for some art.

I'd seen the advertisement for the Yayoi Kusama exhibition a long while back and got seriously excited, because, omg, DOTS! The exhibition featured a spread of her works, with the earlier years looking rather tame and a bit boring for my taste, but the later paintings (psychedelic colours FTW) and the full-room installations were simply stunning. The infinity room literally made my brain squee - it's a mirrored room full of hanging coloured lights which looks a bit like this

only it's even more amazingly mind-blowing when you're standing right in the middle of it. I want my living room to look like that. If I can't have shiny things, I'd like a dotty room, please...

(yes, that's UV dots everywhere).

Back home we paid our downstairs neighbour a visit, coz it was his birthday and my flatmate had made him an Oreo cake. A tasty Oreo cake. The world generally needs a lot more cake.

I'm staying in again tonight and might go to Camden tomorrow.

Because I'm rock'n roll like that.

Still Crazy

The craziness monkeys are still swinging from my every branch. Please move on, nothing to see here.

Actually, I think it's getting less intense. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it. There's only really about 3 days in the month where I feel like I did when I was on the pill, it seems to follow something of a curve. Or a wave.

It feels like I get manic episodes, only that I'm pretty sure that you don't get manic without the depressed coming in as well, and it's not as intense as I imagine a manic episode to be, and I definitely don't get the depressed unless I bring it on myself by fucking up my brain chemistry. So that doesn't count. I do feel a tad hyper occasionally and it would be nice if my sleep pattern would just resort to civilized hours, but I keep messing that one up on weekends, too, which makes it partly entirely my fault. I'm pretty happy through all of that, though. There has been considerably more bounce in my life recently.

And I've found ways to make my brain calm down, at least for a bit. Yeah, yeah.

On another, related note, I currently spend significant amounts of time at work fantasizing about having sex with one of my colleagues in a storage cupboard. Not sure if we even have storage cupboards, but I'm sure I could find something appropriate should it ever get necessary to do so. It's totally out of the question that it would come up, it would be foolish to start anything with someone at work, but the thought has so far entertained me for hours. Days. He is rather pretty. Actually, there's another one that I wouldn't say no to, either. Hmmm. And just so we're clear here, I don't harbor any romantic feelings towards them at all, it's not a crush. I don't even like one of them that much, he's just plain hot. I probably need help.

As for my mind, yep, unsurprisingly that's still hanging out in the gutter. It has made friends and is contemplating buying an apartment there. Turns out that the fanfic I found when I first started looking was the icing on the cake, I've found more but it's not quite as good. What it all boils down to is that I probably have to start writing myself, or more like, finish the two stories I've started. Unfortunately I'm currently suffering from a bit of a writer's block, so I'm still hunting for more stuff to read and get inspired while I get over it.

Also, for some reason my online dating profile has attracted a few (!) candidates that I'd actually like to meet. Seeing that my ventures into online dating have so far produced 2 dates in 2 years, that was a bit of a surprise. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting less picky. And it's not like I'm making more effort...

But before I go on any dates *gasp* I'm going out raving tomorrow. I'm rather looking forward to that, although I have to be careful not to break myself to badly because I got stuff™ to do next week.

As you were.