The Ideal Home Shambles

I'd gotten free tickets from work for the Ideal Home Show - Christmas. I've always found it hard to say no to free tickets, so yesterday I and the flatmate braved the TFL weekend chaos (engineering work overrunning, apparently, which resulted in a 30 minute bus Odyssey) and trekked over to Earls Court to check out what all the fuss was about.

Now, this is probably a good time to mention that I love home improvement shows, especially Grand Designs, which despite having the most critical and negative presenter (who, in the end, always is full of surprise that the people building the house actually did it) is amazing. So there was I being all starry eyed, expecting something like a mahoosive Ikea showroom with all kinds of Christmas shinies.

It was nothing like that at all.

In reality, it was a giant sales thing of all kinds of rubbish. What the f**k has jewellery to do with home furnishing??? Tarot reading, anyone?? How about a bit of fashion show?

There was a bit of furniture and a tiny bit of Christmas decorations, but there was an awful lot of other shit as well. In the end we acquired a wreath (£8.50, not the most amazing thing but it'll do), I got a tasty vegan curry and some chocolate marshmallows. Nicki went all out and bought loads of stuff, including my birthday present (which I'm already looking forward to).

It wasn't the worst way to spend a Sunday afternoon, but Ideal Home it was not.

Eyeball Tracking

Today I've done some art. My brain feels nice and satisfied and happy now. I like if my brain's happy :)

I've grabbed the flatmate and met up with another friend at the Hayward Gallery to check out an exhibition by Pipilotti Rist. It started with an underwear chandelier (ahem) and went on to be quite awesome with video installations that you could walk through and sit down in. Comfy AND inspiring. Included in the ticket was entry to Condo - Mental States which was, erm, a tad mental and disturbing. Interesting, but really weird. We had to go down and sit in the pretty video landscape for a bit afterwards to get the happy back. Got drawn in by a press photo exhibition in the Royal Festival Hall on the way back, which was good, and then got some food and a tasty brownie at one of the Real Food market stalls. That's what I call a good Sunday!

Yesterday I trekked over to North London to meet up with some friends and do some art (well, I didn't, they did) and play a bit of Kinect. I really, really want a Kinect. And a big TV. And a living room that's big enough to play it. There was sociability and tasty foodstuffs and loads of jumping around. Came home happy and a bit exhausted.

Next week might feature two trips to the movies and a visit to the Ideal Home Christmas Show.

Last week I went over to Germany for a long weekend. It was mostly relaxing, as visits to my parents usually are. I've bought new glasses which I'll collect when I got back at Christmas. I also went to my German gynecologist for a long due check-up, which apparently was pretty due - I got told to stop taking the pill as I'm too old now (over 37 the risks seem to go up considerably) and I also seem to have a myoma in my uterus. As such, this is not dangerous and 1 in 4 women have it, it only gets unpleasant when it grows too big. Mine seems to be ok for now, but I have to go back for 6 monthly checkups. I don't particularly like the idea that there's something inside me that's not supposed to be there, but before the ultrasound I didn't even know it was there and the doctor's not worried so I probably shouldn't be, either.

Other than that, all is fine and I'm looking forward to some busy weekends.

Things That Happened

To start things of, have a kitten. In a cup. Stolen from Simon's Cat, which is awesome. Great animations on YouTube as well, which should get checked out.

I can't believe it's almost November! This month had so many really quite good tings and loads of really stressful stuff happening as well.

Let's start off with our flat. We now have a working shower! It's actually the best shower I've had since coming to London, it's got proper water pressure and all that. The path towards it was long and painful, so I think we definitely deserve it. Our landlord and his trusted plumber came to the flat on said Wednesday and "concluded" that the power shower and the current setup was indeed sub-optimal. I can just imagine them both standing in front of the temperature changing shower, scratching their chins and going "yeah, that's f**ked". I was agreed that the plumber would rock up again the Monday after to connect the cold water mains to our bathroom taps and thereby rendering the power shower obsolete. Unsurprisingly, the plumber didn't show up on Monday. Emails and texts ensued and on Thursday I came home to find our power shower including pipes running towards it missing, an extra copper pipe decorating our already quite piped-up bathroom wall, nice little holes in the wall where the mounting for the shower pipes had been and a large amount of general mess. But we had, for the first time since moving in, a properly working shower! Celebrations followed, with more frustration after the discovery that they've managed to disconnect the washing machine while fixing the plumbing. Thank goodness this could be fixed pretty quickly.

There still was/is the issue of the impending sale, brought closer to our attention by finding random estate agents showing people around the flat when coming home. Lovely. It's still kinda there, although Nicki had a massive go at our landlord for not letting us know and after I spoke to him in regards of the washing machine (he had to come in and reconnect it, I can't move that thing) he told me that he's sort of changed his mind. Apparently he didn't really want to sell, but got pestered by estate agents and put the flat on the market at a quite ridiculous price to get them of his back. Yeah, right.

There haven't been any estate agents loitering outside our flat since then, so he might've actually told the truth. I don't trust him further than I can spit, but at the moment we're safe anyway coz due to that peculiar beast that is the British fixed term lease the earliest he can get us out is end of February.

If it wasn't for the landlord, the flat's really quite ok now. We've put the heating on for the first time last week and even on low the place gets warm and cozy in now time. There hasn't been a gas bill yet, so it might turn out that warm & cozy costs us insane amounts of money. For the time being I'm just marveling in the thought that I won't have to wear 3 jumpers inside once Winter arrives. We've also acquired thick curtains for the living room and are proud owners of a coffee table (lovingly assembled by yours truly, I actually enjoy building Ikea furniture). The living room would look amazing if it wasn't for that eyesore of a dangerous to use gas fire, we even had a curtain left over which will be decorating our front door as soon as I've found a telescopic curtain rod that fits in the gap.

Ok, enough of that domestic rambling now, I've been out and about a bit as well. Most remarkably there was a Planet Angel in the Lightbox, which turned out full of awesome and dancing and hugging and having fun, which was followed by a pretty cool, if quiet, afterparty. Saw lots of my friends and got reminded why I love these people so much. There also was a bit of shopping, I've now got flats and heels for the office that are comfy and cute and fluffy boots just because I could. I still don't have winter boots, my calves are a tad too big for most normal sized boots so I'm now going to check out Evans for cheap stuff and Duo boots for the nice but expensive boots.

A shopping spree will happen at some point this weekend, although I may be going to Kew Gardens for a friend's birthday celebrations tomorrow. If I get up early enough, that is, as they've decided to meet up there at noon.

Work (I haven't moaned about work for a while, haven't I?) is going alright. Not too busy, interesting stuff to do, still neither a promotion nor a raise, which is aggravating.

I think overall I'm quite pleased with my life at the moment. I probably should find some wood now to knock on it or I'll jinx it all again...

Showers & Other Issues

You wouldn't believe what happened...

After sending a stream of emails to our landlord and then, after he just decided to put his head in the sand, to his brother (who's the "fixer" of the family & only springs into action if things are really bad) I've had a rather pleasant conversation with the latter last Saturday morning. He had to agree that, yes, the shower is indeed f***ked and the plumbings more than a tad dodgy. We agreed to give him a week to think about how to sort it out and I followed up on that a day or so ago. I really didn't expect what I got told yesterday. Good thing is, he's getting the plumber over next week Wednesday to assess the situation and see how it can be rectified. Bad thing is, they've put our flat on the market to sell! Great way to solve any issues if there ever was one.

According to our contract we still got until end of February next year, which is the earliest they can get us out. I'm not entirely sure I want to wait that long. I mean, why stay somewhere they don't want me, in the knowledge that in 4 month I have to leave anyway. I'm not sure if they would let us leave earlier and I don't know if my flatmate (who's still AWOL on holiday, thought she'd be back today but she isn't) would want to. But I see not point in staying here, I'd rather start flat hunting again straight away in the hopes to find somewhere nicer & cheaper (preferably), a flat with a fully functional bathroom, that's quiet(er) and maybe not in a council block (even if our council block is just a very small council block, it's still a council block). I want to stay in this area, I like where I am at the moment.

So, yeah, things aren't going entirely smooth right now.

This whole situation but a bit of a damper on my mood, which wasn't really that bad before I read that email. It would've helped to have Nicki here to discuss stuff, I think she's back tomorrow (if she isn't I'm starting to get worried).

Anyway, I can't change what's happening and part of me keeps thinking that maybe it's for the best - I like our flat, but there's always that thought in the back of my head that there may be even nicer places for less money (with better landlords) around. This might be just a dream and I should know better from experience. But still, I keep hoping.

Babs and I went to an improv theater last night called "Cellblock - 26 hours of voluntary imprisonment" and it was mostly fun. I like improv, well done improv, that is. We had a ticket for 2 hours of the 26, and 1.5 of those were really good. The rest was a bit awkward, sometimes you could feel the scene hanging a little and you just want them to come up with something cool and they don't. But all in all a very good experience and I don't regret spending £10 for the entertainment.

Today I went to Kingston, which is becoming my favourite shopping destination. It reminds me a little of my hometown, what with the older houses and less masses of people. I've been on a mission to find new winter boots for the last few weeks, slightly hampered by the extremely warm and sunny weather we had last week (can't think about boots when I'm wearing flip flops). The weather's back to it's more appropriate grey & cool now, so I should be ready to get them boots. The problem is, I really, really hate buying shoes. My feet are slightly to oddly shaped for shoes and my calves are just a tad too big to comfortably fit into boots. I've actually tried on every single boot in Clark's and even though some of them fit(!), none of them looked good on me. Maybe I just wasn't in the right mood, I also tried on loads of dresses/skirts and most of them fit, but I didn't feel like buying stuff. I'll make another attempt on Thursday on Oxford Street, my old boots broke this spring and I also need new office shoes as mine are falling apart, so I really have not option than to get over my shoe shopping phobia (for the record, I've got no problems buying silly, totally not appropriate shoes, I just struggle with the real life shoes).

I'm sure I'll find my shopping mojo again at some point and it's not that I've got nothing to wear. I still haven't got my act together in terms of loosing weight (I'm a size 14 at the moment, I'd like to be a 12) and I've so far avoided going back to the yoga studio in Wimbledon. I don't particularly like the setup there, which doesn't help, and I'm contemplating going to Chiswick straight after work.

My life keeps falling apart each time I think it's finally found its groove, which is bloody annoying.

The thought of maybe, eventually, heading back to Germany keeps popping into my head every now and again, but there's nothing there for me at the moment and seeing that my brother is still living at my parent's coz building his house is taking longer than expected (new completion date is sometime May-ish) I can't even go back there.

I am going to Germany for a long weekend beginning of November, let's see what I think after that...

Hello Reality

I'm definitely very much back in the default world. And it's not all that bad, possibly because I was already expecting a festival come-down x 10 and was prepared for it.

As I've said in my last post, there weren't any major epiphanies while on the Playa. For me, Burning Man changes come over time, sometimes I don't even notice that something inside me has changed until I catch myself doing stuff I would not have done before or think thoughts that would never have crossed my mind previous to the event.

One change that has materialized already is that I've started to look deeper into EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I've attended two workshops by Sonya Sophia at Burning Man because I wanted to check out what it was all about. The subjects she covered weren't too close to what I was looking for but it was a great introduction into tapping on subjects you're dealing with. I really liked that you don't have to actually believe in EFT for it to work, although it probably helps, which appealed to the skeptic in me. I started out tapping for my inflamed shoulder joint (my body has the tendency to randomly fall apart without warning which is kinda annoying) last weekend and I'm not sure if it was the EFT or the fast application of pain killers, but the pain subsided much faster than expected and I only had to take diclofenac for a day or to. It usually takes 5 days for stuff like that to go away. I'm now exploring tapping into other things I want to change in my life. It won't do any harm and who knows, it actually might work.

I also seem to be happier and more relaxed, less fazed by stuff that would normally drive me up the wall. This obviously could just be because I had 2 1/2 weeks off work, but I'm hoping it's something that'll stay with me for longer than just post holiday glow. And there's enough going on that has the potential to get to me. Work's busy as usual but no major drama at the moment. The flat, however, keeps causing problems. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insanely unhappy - I like the place and I like where I live and who I live with. It's the bathroom, in particular our shower, that's a source of never-ending issues. This is mainly due to our landlord being a cheapskate and always looking for the cheapest option. He also, unfortunately, has absolutely no clue on how to fix things. What happened is that our shower has stopped working again, it was just dead on Monday morning. Not exactly what you want to wake up to. It got fixed the same day, but now the temperature regulation, which was not great in the first place, is even more fucked than ever. I know why we've got these issues (combi boiler & power shower aren't a good match) and I've got a vague clue what could be done about it (thanks to the interwebs & my inquisitive nature) but I don't think we can expect our landlord to do anything about it because it costs money. He'd rather rock up ever week or so and pay a useless handyman £35 to temporarily fix it.

What he'd need to do is sort out the dodgy plumbing in our bath once and for all. Yes, it'll cost him a few hundred pounds but once it's done he won't get bothered by his tenants anymore (and I can assure you that his tenants would be delighted to not bother him).

That aside we're really rather happy with the place.

Apart from getting on my landlord's nerves, there's a party coming up this weekend. I'm actually feeling way too lazy to go out, but I want to see my friends and still have all winter to hole up and hide underneath a blanket & watch TV. That's my reasoning, anyway. I also really should get myself back into the yoga studio and a sugar detox has been on the cards for a while now. I'm without flatmate for the next 3 weeks so this might be the right time to do it.

Upwards & onwards. Maybe a bit sideways. Here we go!

You can get the girl out of the playa, but you can't get the playa out of the girl*

* quite literally, unfortunately, I'm pretty sure there's particles of playa permanently logged in my lungs...


I'm very pleased to report that Burning Man & our little road-trip were a great success. Getting an RV instead of staying in a tent was awesome, although driving that thing took a bit of getting used to. Thank God American streets are wide and usually pretty empty outside of cities.

But let's start from the beginning...

The last few days of work before my holiday were kinda hectic, loads of stuff to do and things to put into place as I didn't want to leave a big mess for my boss who had to take care of it all while I was away. By the time I finally got away I was rather stressed. Which continued into my packing as I had to discover that BA had scrapped their 2 bag policy and were now only allowing 1 checked-in bag weighing 23kg. Panic ensued. In the end I bought myself an extra bag and was slightly less stressed. Still, I think I've never packed that badly in my life.

The rest of the travel process went much more smoothly and I arrived safe but pretty tired in Las Vegas. Got myself a taxi to the hotel (Super 8 Las Vegas Strip - classy as fuck), checked-in and, after a very thorough inspection of the room and the bed (I'd read reports about bedbug attacks in that particular establishment), collapsed into bed.

The next morning brought the discovery that it was still boiling hot (a pleasant 40 degrees or so) and that the hotel was not quite as close to the Strip as it claimed to be. Found myself some breakfast in the nearby casino and then braved the treck to the Strip, where I explored the shopping options (there are many).

Headed back to the motel in the afternoon to meet Frani and chill for a bit before heading back to where the action was to have dinner.

The next morning, after breakfast and some more explorations, we folded ourselves into a cab and went to pick up the RV. An hour or so later I had the pleasure to be the first driver of the vehicle and to try and get us to the nearest Walmart. About four hours of almost non-stop shopping later we had most of our supplies and made our way to the RV park.

If I can give you any advice, it's don't stay in an RV in Las Vegas. Well, not if that particular RV has the noisiest A/C you can imagine (it made the whole car vibrate whenever it came on). We didn't get much sleep that night, which didn't make the long, long drive ahead of us any more appealing. A short stop at Whole Foods later we were on the road, coordinates on the TomTom set to Playa. We didn't get all that far that day, but we made it to Fallon before it got dark and after our previous experiences with the A/C booked ourselves into the Motel 6.

A good sleep and an even better sleep later we got back on the road. There was breakfast, a long drive, a long wait for petrol at the petrol station in Empire (which never arrived) and an even longer wait to finally fill up the tank in Gerlach. Oh, and a 5 hour wait to get onto the playa. We arrived in camp around midnight, parked our RV and went to bed.

The following days were made of dust, lovely people, interesting talks and pure awesomeness. Around Thursday morning it dawned on me that I was home, where I belonged, with people I wanted to be with. Obviously not all can be hunky-dory, even in a place like this. The camp's take on vegan/vegetarian food was rather hazy and someone stole my poi out of the lost & found box in our camp (I have to admit I'd left them out for a fellow campmate to play with who then abandoned them, which was foolish, but they got placed in lost & found and disappeared from there, which hints to someone purposefully removing them). But the food was tasty nevertheless and hey, I kinda wanted new poi anyway (actually, Crafty gave me some she'd made herself, yay!).

My second Burn didn't change my life, I didn't have any major epiphanies, but I very much enjoyed myself and that's all that counts, really.

Exodus on Monday came with another 5 hour wait in queue, not made any better by two campmates who'd hitched a ride with us and turned out to be sparkle ponies (i.e. annoying freeloaders who didn't even offer petrol money but munched their way to our food instead). We abandoned these individuals in the parking lot of our Reno hotel, checked in and had the longest and most satisfying showers EVER.

The next day featured a rather scenic drive out to Lake Tahoe, where we checked into a motel and got on our (playafied) bikes for exploration. Said bikes were left unlocked in the parking lot of the Marina later that day and I very much hope they've found new owners that gave the a bit of TLC. They deserve it, they were awesome bikes.

I can definitely recommend a stay at the lake, it's quiet and pretty and for us it was just the ticket to relax and decompress.

On the following day we hit the road again and caned it all the way to Vegas. It was a long drive on a very boring road...

Back in Vegas we hit the Motel 6 (which might go down in history as one of the more depressing of it's kind), cooked some food in the RV and then retreated to our air-conditioned room.

We managed to return the RV on time, despite getting a bit lost in search of the petrol station, and without any problems (we spent 3 hours cleaning the inside of the RV in Lake Tahoe, it was cleaner than it was when we picked it up). El Monte even operates a shuttle back to the Strip as it's quite far out, so we didn't even have to pay to get to the MGM.

The rest of the day was spent lounging at the pool. Frani had to leave early the next morning and retreated to the room after dinner, while I had bought myself a ticket to see the Blue Man Group. It was a cheap ticket ($70) which should have been a seat in towards the side in the middle - for some reason I ended up center third row and in the 'splash' zone. I didn't get dirty (they give you plastic raincoats) but bumped into some campmates that had the same marvelous idea but slightly better seats. Great coincidence, wasn't it? We had drinks afterwards and I made it back to the hotel around 2am.

My flight only left in the evening the next day, which meant I had another full day of shopping and pool lounging before I had to go to the airport. Didn't buy much, but it was a good ending to a great holiday.

The flight back was ok, BA really aren't great on long-haul flights, the leg-room is abysmally bad even if you're as short as I am and they seem to have no concept of vegan food. I did manage to catch up on movies I'd missed (although I fell asleep halfway through 'Bridesmaids', which probably wasn't much of a loss).

I'm already making plans for my next holiday, Toronto's looking quite likely as I now seem to know loads of people who live there. I'll follow up on that plan once my bank account stops hyperventilating...

Lee-Ho!!

It was quite an eventful week. Went to yoga on Monday and Thursday, which as usual ate  up the whole evening. Had 2 fillings replaced on Tuesday (might have to go back, though, one of them feels slightly too high). Went sailing on Wednesday, which was awesome and reminded me how much I love the sea. Not enough to get my own sailing licence, I still prefer being in the water to being on top of the water, but I'm planning on visiting Brighton this autumn, just to sit at the beach.

On Friday, I went out on a date. I'm not very good at online dating, I just loose interest way too fast and am not online often enough to keep conversations going, but that guy sounded ok and I thought, hey, why not. We had a pretty pleasant evening, there was a bit of holding-hands and kissing, but unfortunately there wasn't any spark between us. I'm just too busy to keep up half-hearted things, it's not fair on anyone either, so I've had to let him got. The date did, however, confirm that there's nice guys out there who are interested in me and I'm convinced there will be one that's just right. I just have to find him and date a few frogs until then. Could be worse.

On Saturday I got up at an ungodly 8am to trek over to Ealing to put an end to the ex-flatshare situation. It all took way too long, Haart is probably the worst estate agency ever as no-one seems to know what they're doing. After almost 3(!) hours and a lot of phone calls to the absent administrator (who had failed to let us know that she's on holiday), they signed the new contract and I got the leftover money. I still can't quite believe that it's done, over, I don't have to deal with them again, but that's it! Went home and for a celebratory lunch with my new flatmate, then relaxed a bit and gave wardrobe advice, then headed out to Waterloo to meet my friends at Namco. It was Jo's 35th birthday and he'd decided he needed a bit of childish fun. The original idea was to hit Trocadero, but apparently that's closed down (haven't noticed at all). So Namco it was. Spent the evening bowling, playing DDR (I'm ok at beginner level, suck at everything else) and Guitar Hero (totally rock the easy stage, but struggle at medium). Loads of fun was had, it was great to see everyone again.

Today will be mostly made of lazy. I've been to the supermarket and around the shops in Wimbledon, I had planned to go sit in the park for a bit but now the sun's gone, people are meeting in Richmond but I can't be arsed to get myself on the train, so I'm probably just going to stay in and cook something interesting tonight.

I might also do some Burning Man outfit trials, I've just discovered that BA has reduced the baggage allowance to 1 bag/23kg which is not great at all. I'm contemplating paying for an extra bag (£68) just to be on the safe side, but can do that once I've started packing. I didn't loose enough weight to be totally comfortable in skimpy outfits (I'm still hovering around the 75kg mark, last time I was down to 71kg and those 4kg really annoy me) but should be fine with the stuff I've got.

The Man burns in 20 days!

Mostly Optimistic

Well, there's good news and slightly not so good (but not really bad) news. Good news is, I'm still loving living in the new place, still get along really well with my new flatmate and Burning Man planning is mostly done. I even have fluffy stuff and el-wire for my bike (the one I'll have to buy in Walmart in Las Vegas). I've been to Bikram Yoga 6 out of 10 days of the trial, which is pretty good, and I'm getting a 5 class pass to cover the next 2 weeks. I've also bought a swimsuit today (black, Speedo, the cheapest I could find) which means I can go check out the leisure centre pool which shouldn't be all that far away from where I am. Yay! (can't believe I'm getting excited about exercising)

The slightly not so good (but not really bad) news is that my ex-flatmates finally seem to have found someone (goddess bless that poor soul) to take my room. Bad news is, the contract starts end of next week and I have to cover the rent (and the council tax, apparently, because my ex-flatmates are mental) until then. I really hope that this is final now and we're done, I don't want to deal with them or see them or speak to them ever again. I'll get about half my deposit back, which obviously is better than nothing. And I'm insanely glad I'm out of there, as apart from the stress related to dealing with ex-flatmates my life's currently more awesome than it has been for a long time.

So, back to the awesomeness. I had a little shopping spree today, apart from the swimsuit I bought a lovely lacey top and a dress. And a bra, well, because it was only £5 and made my boobs look nice. I think I've lost a bit of weight or at least toned up more, don't feel as flabby anymore although changing room light still causes bouts of depression. But I think it does that for almost everyone.

Oh, and I might have a date next week. Who'd have thought?

To make things absolutely great (and causes frequent little bouts of excitement) I'm going on holiday in a little more than 2 weeks!

Squeeeeeeee!

Moving Forward

I'm seeing a bit too much of IKEA lately... went there again today, to get boxes for the kitchen and a living room lamp. We still need to buy a coffee table and a rug or two, more curtains for the lounge, venetian blinds for the bedroom would be great as well as currently it gets really bright in my room around 5am, despite having black-out curtains. But that'll have to wait until we get paid, as we're both navigating around the limit at the moment. I also want new glasses and have two fillings that need replacement. Oh, and there's Burning Man, too.

I'm slightly broke.

All of this is not made better by the fact that my ex-flatmates still haven't found a new member for their household, which means I'm still waiting to get my 6 weeks deposit back. I should get my bonus this month, tho, so might avoid total money crisis.

In better news, we have a working shower now, I think, haven't tested it yet as they've only fixed it this afternoon (after it was impossible to turn off and scalding hot even on the coldest setting). We're still working on window issues, they seem to be more severely broken than we originally thought. The keys don't turn, the handles are irreversibly stuck, even a large dose of WD40 couldn't unstick the stuckness. Landlord is now talking to property manager.

Tomorrow there will be a huge fry-up for breakfast (Nicki needs to get rid of eggs, which lead to additional hash browns, toast and beans on toast) and I'm cooking dinner (Mushroom Stroganoff). The afternoon will be filled with Burning Man organisational stuff with the neighbour. I'm planning to get back to Bikram Yoga on Monday, which should fill evenings up nicely for the next 10 days (it's only a 10 days for £15 offer, boo). And next week there's a vintage thing going on at South Bank which I want to check out. Oh, and there's plans for getting my hair cut, yeah!

Now I only need to get my motivation back for work (have been slagging a bit, I must admit) & we're fine :)

All Shiny, With A Few Flaws

The move went well, thanks for asking. The van showed up an hour late with one man missing, but despite of that it still only took 2 hours, cost me less than £100 and didn't involve me carrying heavy stuff. I had most of my shit stowed away by the time I had to go to bed to be ready for work the next day. It took about a week for the dust to settle and it'll probably take about a month for the flat to be as great as we'd like it to be.

Because... there's quite a lot of things that need a bit of TLC in here. We didn't notice when we first saw the place, because you don't give the shower a test run and open & close all the windows. Which is where a lot of the problems are located. The power shower, while great in theory (yay, decent water pressure), has been either dangerous (current running through the hose, anyone?) or not working (it's leaking from somewhere & doesn't get properly hot at the moment). We've had the electrician in today & he's said that the plumber needs to come in to fix it. Which obviously our landlord, who's keen to not spent money, won't be pleased to hear.

We've also got one window that doesn't open due to being locked and one window that doesn't close due to being locked. The key to solve these problems is missing. We've also got a window with a broken top hinge, which obviously is the one that's hardest to get to. While our landlord can't really help with the missing key issue (I've been inquiring at the neighbours), we've requested him to fix the window hinge issue. Which will cost him more money, of course. Drama.

Well, actually, he's been quite ok so far. I'm sure we'll get him to get a plumber to fix the shower and the builder is coming in on Monday (after having cancelled on Wednesday) to paint the wall (previous tenants did an excellent job patching up the walls... glossy paint patches on matte walls, srsly), fix various little things, possibly hang up a new bathroom shelf/an additional kitchen shelf, waterproof the bathtub edges (currently leaking down to the neighbours) and hopefully take a look at that window hinge.

We remain positive that the flat will live up to its full awesomeness by the end of the month. Because, well, it's pretty awesome. Our bedrooms are at the back of the building, which means I can leave the window open and get a good night's sleep. I very much approve. My bedroom is big and easily fits my chests of drawers, another chest of drawers, bedside table and the wardrobe. There is still space. Yes, really. The bathroom, once it includes a properly working shower and close-able window, is well proportioned and the bathtub is nice enough to have me contemplating taking a bath. The kitchen is small but light, will have a shelf soon and got additional under-counter storage courtesy of IKEA today. We don't have a fan oven, which I think is a shame, but we have windows (albeit with broken hinges and dirty as f***k, but I'm willing to scrub them into shinyness). The lounge looked rather bleak until today, now has white curtains and a grey rug, which matches the black sleeper sofa and white IKEA shelf. It does have an old, ugly, un-useable gas heater on one wall, a proper eyesore. We're thinking of either boxing it in or covering it with a throw. Putting a flower on top of it seems to have done something to detract from it already.

And now you're probably asking yourself, what's the new flatmate like? She's absolutely lovely. We're obviously still in our honeymoon period, but so far it's going really well. We've got similar taste, have loads to talk about and she's sociable.

For the first time in months I find myself looking forward to coming home in the evening.

All the stuff that needs fixing is stressing me out slightly, but I want to remain optimistic and trust our landlord to get everything done.

Now all I need is to get my social life back, which has really suffered in the past 4 weeks. Sorry for that.

Counting The Days

Not long now... I've booked the men with the van for Monday, I'm meeting my new flatmate in our new flat on Sunday. I haven't packed a single thing yet and am feeling a bit uneasy about it. On the other hand, I haven't got that much to pack and most things still need to be accessible (like clothes). I did buy 3 removal boxes after work today, which hopefully fit all stuff that can't go in those handy woven plastic bags. I've got Friday afternoon and Monday off work, so in theory all should be totally fine.

The interviews on Monday were interesting. The first one was at a major broadcaster that I've so far failed to impress twice. This time, well, I don't think they were too impressed by me again, but I wasn't particularly impressed by them either. They're just as miserable and depressing as I remember them. Maybe I should just give up on that company once and for all, but my recruitment agent had tricked me into thinking I'd want that job. I now can confirm that I don't. The second interview was 2 hours later a pleasant stroll away in the City. I had some lunch and then hid in an air-conditioned Starbucks (well done me for choosing the hottest day of the year so far to do interviews) until it was time to present myself. I've got the feeling that the second interview went slightly better, although my interviewer was very hard to read. It was pleasant enough, anyway, and the job sounds more interesting than the one I interviewed for in the morning. Overall, though, I'm not sure if any of them is worth leaving my current job for. I'm still learning things, the team is nice and, errr, the team is nice.

After leaving some impressions at potential employers I decided to go into town and check out the sales. The day had changed from being ridiculously hot and sunny to being rather muggy and overcast, what better thing to do than go shopping? I actually found two items at Esprit, a tie-dye summer dress and a long-sleeved kaftan. Encouraged by success in the first shop I'd gone into I wandered on to H&M. There I unearthed about 10 items of clothing that looked potentially nice and hit the fitting rooms. The first 2 things had looked great on the mannequins, but I couldn't even figure out how to get into them. Too many layers, no instructions, very tricky, that. Another 2 suffered from size schizophrenia, as in, they were my size (in theory) but pretended to be a much, much smaller size. Another item had the problem the other way around. The rest of the stuff simply looked a bit shite on me. I continued through the shops (hey, I don't give up that easy), but didn't find any more hidden gems.

Finally got home too late for yoga, was exhausted anyway, so I just lounged about and contemplated all the stuff in my room that needed sorting out. I did go to yoga last night, I still have one class left on my 10 class pass which I'm doing tomorrow. There's a Bikram Yoga in Wimbledon, so I'm definitely going to keep it up - I've started to see small results that I don't want to jeopardize.

So, yeah, I'm keeping busy and trying not to panic.

P.S.: I've just seen that I can check the stats on this blog and I actually seem to have more readers (not huge amounts, but still) than I thought. I assume that most of them land here by accident, but anyway: Hi, whoever you are!

Summer's Here

We seem to have achieved Summer! And almost in time for the summer solstice. It's been warm and sunny for two days now, which has resulted in loads of complaints of people around me already that it's too hot... I'm enjoying not having to wear at least 2 layers and filling up my vitamin D storage.

I'm still reluctant to admit it, but to be honest, I'm actually quite happy and pretty excited at the moment. If I could I'd pack my bags right now and get everything shipped over to Wimbledon, but I'll have to wait another week. We're picking up the keys on Saturday, which is when Nix is moving in. I've decided to take full advantage of my moving day at work and am planning to schedule the men (I probably need 2 coz I can't carry my furniture) with their van for Monday, which hopefully makes it a bit cheaper than getting them on the weekend.

Getting rid of my current room is proving harder than I thought, which I blatantly blame on my flatmates. Most people who are looking for a flatmate want to socialise with the people they're living with, but we're looking for someone who is absolutely happy to not talk to their fellow housemates for days. They also seem to be somewhat clueless as to where to recruit said person, but that's something they have to sort out, really.

In terms of money/work, I've got 2 interviews lined up for tomorrow, handily scheduled around lunch. I'm slightly nervous, but seeing that I've got a job which is not in immediate danger of falling apart I'm also looking forward to find out what they'd have to offer to me. I won't leave my safe position for something that doesn't hold the promise of being better (paid).

I've also seem to have achieved inspiration again. I've found a new blog that I like very much, I've been to Camden yesterday which made me happy, even though I didn't buy anything. Today I've wandered down Chiswick High Road to check out the sales and enjoy the sunshine, again didn't buy anything but found myself thinking how awesome it will be to explore Wimbledon and surroundings. There's the village, a farmers market, the common... yay!

Not sure how I'm doing in regards to weight and the loss of it, I definitely haven't gained any more but probably haven't lost much, either. I'm still holding on to the dream of looking awesome in my skimpy dresses...

There's been somewhat of a (wool) dread situation as Pinky can't make the weekend I'd like to have them installed before going to Burning Man. I'm now trying other sources but might have to resort to getting a stranger to do it. I definitely want cool hair for the Playa.

So, yes, all in all I'm doing well.

As you were.

Looking To The Future

While I'm a bit reluctant to admit it, I think things are looking up. I've slowly started to declutter my room, which involved putting a few shoes & clothes up on ebay (things that I'd want to get money for as they're new/almost new) and stuffing the rest into a bin bag to be taken to the clothes recycling box at Sainsbury's. I've still got alarming amounts of clothes and other stuff, but right now just can't bring myself to give away more. We'll see how I got once I start packing.

Job-wise, there seems to be movement, too. Unfortunately not at my current company, where the situation has come to a stand-still - I think I could stay there for another year or so without the risk of being made redundant and the work I do at the moment is pleasant enough. The developments are occurring somewhere else, I might have interview lined up in the near future. I'm not sure if I'm interested, but it would be pretty unwise to not follow up on the leads I've got. There won't be a promotion or a raise where I'm at now, so it's probably best to look for more money elsewhere.

In terms of love, well, I don't have any suitors waiting at my door but I've met one or two guys recently that I would actually be interested in, which is a definite improvement.

I've discovered yesterday that the weight I thought I'd lost has crept back up again, which I blame on stress all around. My back is acting weird at the moment, too, which makes yoga quite hard and painful. I don't want to make things worse by going, but I also don't want to quit because the rest of my body actually likes the exercise.

I'm hoping that once the move is over things fall into place. I'm not expecting miracles and if I want the body I had the last time I went to Burning Man I should get going with a diet and exercise really soon, but if I'm happier where I'm at then other stuff gets easier as well.

The advertisement for my room is written and will go up on various websites today, I think I'm going to stick around next weekend to see if my flatmates are actually making any effort to find someone new, just in case.

I probably should start making a list of all the places I have to inform of my new address...

We're Moving

We have signed the lease to the flat in Wimbledon last night. I've been squeeing quite a lot since then. I absolutely can't wait to leave my current abode behind and am excited like a puppy to be living next doors to some wonderful friends of mine and share the flat with a lovely person I've just met. There is this small part in me which is worried that the new flat will turn out just a bad as the old flat, but that part gets usually shouted down by the parts that are having a party because it's going to be awesome.

I'm planning to move in 2 1/2 weeks, which means I now have to start thinking about how I get all my shit moved from West London to South West London (SW19, to be precise). And, of course, there's the dreaded packing.

There also is the small issue that I need to find someone to replace me on the lease of my current flat. I won't ask around in my circle of friends because honestly, I can't do this to anyone I know. I don't even know how to advertise my room - "morning person who's never around and prefers to keep to themselves when in the flat, will never leave the light on and doesn't feel cold" doesn't really work, does it? My flatmates will have to agree to the new person as well, which basically means they have to recruit someone. This would be great if the ladies weren't too tired after work to interview people and they're away on the weekend. We've now agreed to get people in on the weekend next week. I really hope they find someone straight away. Legally I have to pay the rent until the new person is approved by the agency and I don't fancy paying double rent for long.

But anyway, I'll be out of here soon *squeeeeeee*

And guess what the universe had to say on the day we signed the lease:

WOW! Just checked in on your new flat, Ursula! Love all the "bells and whistles" you dreamed up! Smokin' hot!


Apparently, however, there's some confusion over where the bouncy seat is supposed to go. So I just told them to put it in your world headquarters executive office, in front of the aquarium... beside the hammock... behind the popcorn maker.


OK?


You're so cute,
    The Universe

Cautiously Optimistic

Sorry if my last post worried anyone. Things have improved slightly since then, but they're still far from hunky-dory.

Nicci & I seem to have found a flat. It's right next door to Frani's pad, which means it's not where we wanted to be but it could be quite cool to live so close to friends. We've had a look at it last week Wednesday, paid the holding deposit on Thursday & are now waiting for the (private) landlord to get the contract ready. As it stands we haven't signed anything, which means I'm pulling my hair because I hate uncertainty & my trust in landlords only goes so far. The flat's decent, not particularly big but well-formed. It's only me & Nicci sharing, which will hopefully limit the amount of madness going on.

I've told my flatmates on Saturday, because I'm nice & don't want to cause any problems. All was fine until they realized that I'm the only one who can actually do standing orders from their account & that finding someone new might be work. Things have turned a bit, erm, cool. If the flat falls through it's not going to be pleasant.

Work is ambling along. I'm trying to do as little as possible while trying to not appear to do as little as possible. I am learning new skills, which is good, and it's skills I'll need for other jobs. Unfortunately I'm not particularly interested in the stuff I'm doing, but that might change once I'm getting better at it. I'm still far from convinced that all will turn out well in the end, though.

Anyway, only 2 1/2 months to go till Burning Man.

All Change, Please?

It's happened.

The other team at work now has a researcher for my channels.

I'm totally not amused.

I basically found out by accident at a meeting last week, which suddenly featured someone else taking over responsibilities I used to have. The head of the department actually had the nerve to deny that they're doing anything! Anyway, most of my day-to-day business has suddenly vanished. My boss still has his head deep in the sand and keeps telling me that there is plenty of work to go around & there is no reason to be worried.

Yeah, right.

I've also had my PDP last week (you know, that once-a-year talk you have with your boss that should result in a pay rise & possibly a promotion). Everybody's really happy with my work, I've improved loads since my last review 6 months ago BUT I'm not good enough to warrant a 4 (marks go from 1, which most likely result in you immediately getting fired, to 5, which is godlike) although apparently I'm "just between a 3 and a 4". I'm not getting a pay rise coz "they don't do that" and definitely no promotion as I'm still not "quite there", whilst there wasn't a proper explanation what's still missing.

I'm so not impressed.

Both factors have prompted me to update my CV (making it sound a bit more shiny than it is, hey, we're selling the goods here). I haven't send it out yet, but am contemplating getting a nice email ready later tonight. I've now reached the point where I'm thinking about updating my German CV & getting it out there as well.

I'm so sick of the whole situation.

If it was just the job I could probably man up & deal with it. But there's also the living situation to consider which honestly is starting to grate. I'm sick of living in shitty flats, sharing with other people and paying extortionate amounts of money for something that's about to fall down on me.

Problem is, it's not that easy to go back to Germany. Jobs in my field are hard to come by as there's less TV stations around and I'm not particularly keen to change or, god beware, work in an agency. I'm very tempted to just drop everything & just go live with my parents for a while, but at this point I'm not quite desperate enough (and my brother's recently taken up residence there while he's building his house, it could get rather crowded).

I'm currently planning as far ahead as Burning Man end of August. The flight's booked from Heathrow & I'd rather have a job to go back to this time.

So for the moment I'm staying on this bloody island, continue hunting for a space worth living in & a job that is worth all the effort I put into it.

Party, Stealth, Relax

I've been busy. Sorry. In the past 3 weeks I've

* partied with friends & lost sleep at an afterparty * tried to be stealthy on SouthBank & failed * didn't do yoga for a full week & felt guilty * went to Germany * slept for 10+ hours each night for a long weekend * ate home-cooked food I didn't have to cook myself * bathed in hot springs & relaxed on warm sand * spent hours reading on the balcony & finished 2 books * went shopping for summer dresses (more to come) * went back to yoga & enjoyed it muchly *

The Easter Weekend was busy, the long weekend of the Royal Wedding was insanely relaxing. I didn't even realize I was so sleep-deprived & stressed until I stopped being sleep-deprived & stressed. Going back to Germany always chills me out of London rushing around mode.

I've finally gathered enough strength & momentum to have a serious look at my living situation. This has so far resulted in quite a bit of frustration, as London has gotten more expensive than I'd thought. I'm not giving up yet, though. I might have to revisit areas, maybe change plans, but it's gonna happen this year.

On body-related news, I'm currently a bit behind in my yoga practice but should be back in the heat & humidity tomorrow evening (after a shopping trip, ahem). I'm reading Eat To Live which basically advocates a mainly vegan diet, it's very well researched & I'm planning to give it a try. I haven't quite figured out how to tackle it yet, it's quite strict on the no salt & no sugar thing, but it allows huge amounts of veg, beans & other tasty stuff so should be do-able. In a way it's very similar to 4-hour Body/4-hour Diet, only that this approach allows meat & a cheat day, which Eat To Live doesn't, really. Colleagues keep pointing out that I'm eating pretty healthy (there's also been suggestions that I supply lunch for the department), which might be true compared to what they eat, but I still consume huge amounts of sweets & chocolate.

So for the time being & until I've finished reading the book I'm aiming at eating more salads, veg, beans & tofu/seitan/tempeh and less carbs/sugar.

I want to be in shape in time for Burning Man - I'm planning on wearing loads of cute outfits which just won't fit at the moment (there's this tiny skirt I've bought years ago which I'd really, really want to introduce to the desert).

* engage Life-Changing-Mode*

Yoga, Penguins & The Discovery Of Clown Core

I've finished my 30 day Bikram yoga trial with 20 out of 30 sessions. Pretty awesome, huh? The sessions this week all went really well, no dizziness, no nausea. I seem to be working my muscles more, though, which resulted in some achiness but felt fine & relaxed after class. If it wasn't for my feet deciding to go into total icicle mode one night I wouldn't even have to report trouble sleeping.

I've bought a 10 classes in 6 weeks pass now. I'll be more busy/not available due to Easter & the Royal Wedding/Early May bank holiday weekend so the plan still is to go as often as possible but probably won't manage quite as amazing a ratio in the coming weeks.

Work's busy, there's currently loads of stuff going on behind the scenes which is causing huge amounts of trouble/unrest in my team. Shit is starting to hit the fan now, I'm not affected myself (yet) but in the long run I foresee a restructure. If all goes well I'll come out of this unscathed, but one never knows.

Never a dull moment, eh?

Babs & I went to the movies on Wednesday. The original idea was to watch Hop (the movie with teh bunneh) but Vue had spontaneously decided to not have the 7.50pm screening. Thank you very much. We settled for Limitless instead, which was alright & a nice light entertainment for a weekday night. Interestingly, the futuristic brain-function enhancing drug NZT and it's effects reminded me a lot of those of amphetamines, although it's less invasive & it made users smarter instead of, erm, not really that much more intelligent. Had a few internal giggles but didn't elaborate.

We now have confirmation that it's only going to be Frani & I on the Burning Man extravaganza. It makes things slightly more expensive (smaller RVs don't cost proportionally less money & we're splitting fuel costs by 2 instead of 4), slightly more stressful (I have to drive an RV. They're massive. I'm scared) but also a bit more relaxed for me (I only have responsibility for the welfare & good conduct of one BM virgin). We also are officially sponsored by the lovely Wulfie to join the Lost Penguin camp!!!! Very excited about this, the penguins are awesome & the location of the camp is conveniently central. I've booked a non-stop flight London to Vegas. Now we have to sort out motels/hotels & campgrounds and start saving to actually pay for all of this.

Yesterday I attended my first party for this year. Elysian Project was very enjoyable, DJ Fiend delivered a banging set & I got introduced to the questionable joys of clown core (brought to you by Ed Cox). Bounced, chatted to new people & old friends and spent a lovely Saturday in Seven Sisters.

Tomorrow, if I'm not too knackered, I'll head into town to support Ben who's running his very first marathon (the crazy bastard). He's raised much more money than he'd planned to & now all he has to do is cross the finish line & make us proud :)

Next week's outlook: sushi (Monday), yoga (Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday, it's going to be hard), Planet Angel (Friday), afterparty (Saturday), an undisclosed event featuring Babs & I being secret agents at South Bank (Sunday) and quite possibly sudden death on Easter Monday.

Go me!

We'll Be Right Back

This week just flew past. Last week was pretty busy as well. That's my excuse, what's yours?

I'm still going to Bikram Yoga, managed 3 times this week (so far, I'm planning on going tomorrow) & went 4 times last week. I still have incredibly good sessions & sessions where I struggle to stay in the room/not faint. Yesterday's class was one of the latter - I've never felt so dizzy before, I actually had to lie down for the tree pose as I kept seeing stars & couldn't keep my balance. Really hope that was just a one-off, I have to admit that I had a very junk-foodie lunch (potato wedges & chocolate) which might've triggered the bad performance. Had a rather bad night's sleep last night as well, just couldn't fall asleep & then had *very* strange dreams. I'd slept rather well after Thursday's class, apparently yesterday's session unearthed something hidden inside my body or something.

I didn't go to yoga today, I was too upset after last night & I'm quite achey today. Instead I went to Ealing for a quick shop which transformed into a big shop on Oxford Street. Weird how those things go. Bought blue linen trousers & black ballerina flats (I've got a million pairs of them, none of them comfy, so I'm hoping this pair's going to be different). I got a bit overexcited after fitting into size 14 trousers again (I seem to have lost another kilo) at M&S so tried on a cool pair at Esprit which really didn't fit. I probably should go back to a proper vegan & healthy diet to support my exercise endeavors...

So what else did I get up to in the past 14 days??? Good question. I'm wondering myself. I spent last weekend at a (free) NLP basic training course. It wasn't a complete waste of time, but didn't really help too much with my goal setting & personal development. I'd expected to get a bit more than warped psychology, youtube clips & a sales pitch. I seems to have worked on some people, coz quite a few of the other attendants signed up for practitioner's courses (for a bargain £4000 a pop). What I did get out of it was that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for & my goals are perfectly alright.

On Tuesday Frani came over for our first Burning Man planning session. Things are coming together nicely, albeit alternative plans to the ones we originally had. Charlie & Jo have hit unexpected money issues & it might only be Frani & I going. Subsequently I've reserved a smaller RV (just in case) & we're currently operating under the assumption that it's just the two of us. I've booked my flights an hour ago, non-stop to Vegas which is incredibly expensive but the arrival/departure times are awesome & I'm won't be wasting hours in some random airport along the way. We'll be staying at a motel for the first 2 nights (near the Strip, NOT somewhere out in the sticks) & I'm going to book myself a room at one of the big casinos for the last night to totally posh it up. The rest of the trip we'll be in the RV.

I'm really excited about the trip, I've got a much better feeling about the whole thing than last time but that's probably because I'm in charge of everything. There's still a million things that can go wrong & I might end up doing the whole trip on my own but I WILL go.

I've also met up with one of Frani's friends to discuss a possible flat-sharing opportunity. I've sort of set myself the goal to get my living arrangements sorted out before Burning Man, I definitely can't spent another winter in my current flat without succumbing to total depression. Plans currently are on the very hazy side & there won't be any sudden movements before May, but I'm on it.

As for near-future plans, there might be a picnic tomorrow (it's actually sunny & warmish on the island). There'll most likely be more yoga, my 30 day trial ends on Tuesday & I'm planning on getting a 10 class in 45 days pass. Elysian Project is next Friday, then it's Easter & Planet Angel. And I'm going home for a few days end of April to escape the Royal Wedding madness that'll sure as hell wash over the capital.

I sometimes wonder if other people's life's are as mental...

Sweat, Baby, Sweat

So I've signed up to Bikram yoga last week Monday & subsequently transformed into a yoga hermit. Sorry for that. Yoga has more or less taken over my life, well, the few bits that were filled with work & socialising. I can only go to class at 8.15pm on weekdays, which means I come home from work, bimble around for an hour or so & leave the house again at 7.20pm. I then come back around 10.15pm & collapse into bed. It's slightly better on weekends coz there is no work, but I'm still pretty much in a daze after class.

I've been to class 5 times last week & I'm probably going to go to class 5 times again this week (if I make the session this afternoon & tomorrow evening). My body alternates between being stiff & achy to actually feeling quite nice & supple on a daily basis. I've had some really good yoga sessions & some quite bad ones, where every move is a struggle & I'm absolutely shattered afterwards. The only thing that seems to be rather constant, unfortunately, is that I don't sleep very well after yoga, no matter if I've done it in the afternoon or in the evening. This is pretty annoying, as you're supposed to sleep better afterwards. I do seem to have lost a kilo since last week without actually being on a diet, which kinda makes up for the sleep problems.

Apart from torturing my body & mind, I've had Frani come over dinner & a major catch-up, I've met up with Cherelle for gaming & chatter, been to a wine-tasting session with work and to the movies with Babs.

Due to my evenings being busy all the time, I haven't watched a lot of TV (good) and struggle a bit with cooking healthy foods (bad). I've lost interest in food a bit, I'm totally uninspired when it comes to cooking (all I want is something to eat, which means I stuff my face with bad things occasionally). Maybe I should just start the detox now instead of in May, at least then I'd have a fixed schedule of meals & drinks & don't have to think about it at all.

They say you start to see results of bikram yoga practice after about 13 classes, which means I'm almost there & should hopefully see improvements in body & mind soon...

Namaste!

It's been a week since I got back from my India adventure & I'm happy to say that I still feel fairly relaxed. It was a good trip, not an amazing trip, a great introduction to India but by no means the full India experience. Kinda "India from behind the air-conditioned glass", which was fine & what I had expected. But I probably need to go back there & immerse myself a bit more - I'm actually thinking of going to Goa next year...

So yeah, I've been back for a week now. Touched down in Heathrow last Saturday afternoon, came back to the same cold flat & miserable flatmates that I'd left behind (no, I didn't expect them to magically change while I was away) but with a new energy & will to get going & change things. I did some laundry, tried to fix the Sky dish that some bastard had vandalized again (just one more thing that makes me not like this place) & went to bed rather early at 7pm.

Actually managed to sleep for a good 14 hours that night, which as awesome. Woke up sometime after 9am, set off some more laundry & headed to the shops. Found out that Sainsbury's in Chiswick only opens at 11am on Sundays (how am I to know, I'm never there that early) & it was only quarter to when I got there, so I took this as an excuse to hit Starbucks for a Chai Latte. Well, if you ever want to get put off of having children, got to the Chiswick Starbucks on a Sunday morning... it was teeming with pregnant ladies & small children. Still managed to find a quiet spot to drink my tea & then did a humongous amount of shopping.

I also decorated my room a bit more on that day with 2 pictures of Hindu gods I'd brought back from India (Ganesh & Lakshmi) & put some mirrors on my wardrobe (which keep falling down, but never mind).

Going back to work wasn't as bad as I'd feared, although I was greeted with "I'm so glad you're back!" & an inbox of 700 messages. I'm trying to employ a less hectic working style, basically organizing my To Do list some more & systematically working through it. Unfortunately my manager is really good at "finding" stuff in his To Do list for me that he'd totally forgotten about & which has now become quite urgent. Oh, and there obviously always are the requests from our Finance guys, which seem to work 24/7 & are prone to send time-critical queries either at 8am in the morning or late on a Friday afternoon. Nevertheless, I DO like my job :)

I didn't make it to the pancake day extravaganza at Charlie's house due to my dentist appointment overrunning by an hour (not my fault, they were running late). Check-up went fine, but there's 2 fillings that are starting to look a bit dodgy & need replacement at some point this year. I'm quite happy to have found a dentist that seems to be good & knows what he's doing (& also does late appointments on weekdays).

Wednesday was the Day Of The Bearded One, aka Beardyman. I'd had the tickets for this gig for ages, it was originally supposed to happen last year November but got postponed, which meant that John was now unable to attend as he's fucked off to the USA for a 2 week roadtrip (I'm imagining some kind of geek Fear & Loathing style adventure). I managed to get Dan as a replacement, which in the end was really fun. We might've got a bit drunk, there was a lot of shimmying & a few hugs. All in all, a very good evening. Oh, and Beardyman was bloody amazing, needless to say that, really, he always is.

Yesterday evening Frani stopped by for a major catching up session, I cooked us some tasty Indian food, we talked for hours & almost didn't get around to looking at my holiday snaps! She might know someone who's looking for a flatmate, whom I hopefully will meet next week. Her flatshare is also on it's way to relocating, but they're already 3 people & might not want an extra person. Boo.

Oh, and now that I'm back from India we've started to rev up the planning for the other big holiday I'm taking this year. The ticket is bought, the RV is booked, there are vague plans in place what to do with the rest of the 2 1/2 weeks I've got off... BURNING MAN, here we come!!!! Frani will be joining our little party as well, which is awesome. Unlike last time, I've got a really good feeling for this trip. Bring it on!

Today will be mostly spent waiting for the Sky engineer to rock up ("sometime between 2 and 5"), then possibly a trip to the health food shop (need vegan cheeze) & maybe to the sports shop to buy one or two shorts for yoga. I'm planning on doing a 30 day Bikram Yoga challenge, at the moment this is still failing because I don't have appropriate clothes (need tight shorts or something, it's 40 degrees in that room). I'd thought of starting tomorrow, but I'm now heading over to Seven Sisters to keep Fliss company, which might delay the whole thing a little. But I'll definitely start this month, can't go to the 6pm class anyway because the 30 day pass doesn't apply to that, which means I should have enough time to sign-up & go to the 8pm class sometime next week. But first I would need something to wear, right?

I'm seriously hoping that this year will be the year that I'm happy with myself & my life. I hereby promise to do everything I can to make this happen!

Tell No One

Last night Babs & I went to Secret Cinema's latest event. It clashed quite spectacularly with Planet Angel's Valentine's Ball, which was unfortunate, but I'd bought the ticket back in November for their December event which didn't happen & it got transferred to the next event which took place yesterday.

As always, we didn't have a clue what they would be showing, the only thing we could be certain about what that it would've been incorporated into an impressive show. The dress code was late 40's, which I totally didn't do as I've got no 40's style clothes & couldn't really be bothered to get just for this one evening. So I rocked up in a nice skirt, jumper & boots, which was fine as the place actually was a bit chilly.

We were told to gather at Wapping station at 6.30pm, where we got collected by the Secret Cinema actors who staged a protest, drawing us in & urging us to follow them. So we paraded down Wapping's streets, shouting out our slogans & trying to no get run over by taxis & busses. Our little procession ended at the Tobacco Dock, where we joined the impressive queue. Waiting wasn't all that bad, though, in true Secret Cinema style actors entertained us throughout our wait. Apparently we were queuing up to audition as dancers! Once inside, we started exploring the venue. We seemed to have been transported to 1940's Covent Garden which also doubled as a theatre, complete with make-up rooms, dressing rooms & ballet rehearsal spaces. Downstairs was more market like, with flowers stalls & food vendors, a bar or two & shops. Everything very much hinted towards theatre & ballet, with red ballet shoes featuring rather prominently. Babs had a cupcake while I got a bag of white chocolate popcorn (absolutely yummy!), we watched performers & engaged in conversations with the actors.

It all culminated in a giant dance performance, which ended in a girl almost jumping off a balcony (erm, an actor, obviously) & then got ushered into the cinemas on the upper floor. By that time we kinda were sure that they would be showing "The Red Shoes", which got confirmed after the obligatory short films & Windows advertisements (Secret Cinema's sponsor) had ended. I can't say that I was particularly excited by the choice of movie, maybe they were trying to surf the wave of Black Swan. The Red Shoes felt quite slow & dated (no wonder, it's from 1948), I probably didn't fully appreciate the nostalgia & it being a controversial movie back then. The venue being rather chilly & the chairs pretty uncomfortable didn't help, so we ended up leaving before the end of the film to make sure we catch the last train back into civilization (i.e. to Canada Water & then to Green Park).

All in all it was a very enjoyable experience, having white chocolate popcorn for dinner was rather nice & Secret Cinema's ability to create a wonderful event around a not so interesting movie is impressive. It did feel a bit mass-produced, though, their events keep getting bigger & bigger while being quite expensive (£27.50) - they must make a killing from it & the underground feel some of the earlier events still had is completely gone now. I'll still go again because it's amazing & a good night out, but I also feel the time has come to hunt for the next big thing.

Not Long Now...

I've managed to pinch/inflame a nerve again. It's usually the sciatica nerve, which starts somewhere in the lower back and goes all the way down the legs. It hurts & it's starting to really annoy me now. I know that my lower spine is too wobbly, two of the vertebraes that should be joined by bone/cartillage instead of discs aren't, causing them to move & put pressure on the nerves in my back.

It's gotten a lot worse in recent years, probably due to me not exercising anymore. And then, when I do exercise, I make matters worse because I'm so unfit & stiff that stuff just goes wrong. A friend recently completed a 30 day Bikram yoga challenge & I think that's a wonderful idea for when I'm back from India. Things really can't get much worse.

Oh, and despite having the feeling that I lost some weight, the scales last night clearly showed I haven't. I'm almost at my highest weight ever, which means most of my clothes don't fit & I feel like a walrus. Not the best thing if you're going on holiday in a few days.

I'm not happy.

I've also had the sneaking suspicion that my thyroid might be the problem for a while now, I'm always feeling cold, don't sleep well/am tired, then there's the weight issue. To finally get things checked out, I've made an appointment with my new GP on the day before I go on holiday. I don't expect things to get sorted before I leave, he's probably going to order a blood test (if I'm lucky) which of course they can't do on the same day so I'm counting on having to go back when I'm back in the UK. But at least I've started the process. My thyroid has always been on the lower end of normal, which is bloody annoying as I'm pretty sure it's not quite right, so in a way I'm actually hoping it's now gone off the cliff & they need to do something about it.

Quite likely I'm also insanely stressed. The tiniest things piss me off no end & everything just seems to be so much work.

My holiday should be nice & relaxing, despite being on the go most of the days the trip I've booked features loads of sitting around on houseboats & traveling on busses. I've got everything sorted now, all that's left is some washing & the dreaded suitcase packing.

Tomorrow I'm off to Secret Cinema & then it's 2 more days at work & I'm out. Hooray!

Grains, Beans & Veggies

I've been investigating a macrobiotic diet recently. Just like becoming a dietary vegan (well, most of the time), the whole macrobiotic idea just snuck up on me. I never made a conscious choice to become vegan, it just seemed to happen rather naturally. At some point I obviously made the decision to just stop eating meat, dairy & eggs, but the process was gradual, involved dabbling with the idea for a while & then my body made the decision for me by loosing interest in the stuff.

Those who know me know that I'm not strict in being vegan, I took a break from the whole situation over Christmas while at my parents (and suffered for it afterwards, I felt really yucky for a week), I eat fish occasionally & seem to totally forget how bad milk chocolate is for my body every time I see it (selective chocolate memory). I now manage to stay away from creamy cakes because the gas I get from eating them is just not funny for anyone around me (it also hurts quite a lot).

All of this means that I never struggled with my dietary choices. I'm getting more strict with being vegan now because of the way it makes me feel, I never want to feel like when I was eating loads of meat & dairy ever again. Summer will probably see another raw vegan phase, but it's too cold for that now.

And now macrobiotics are happening to me.

I've become more & more interested in rather simple food, loads of Japanese things, mainly. I love how good things taste if you just leave them as they are & not smother them in sauces. Cold soba noodles with pan-cooked pak choi (or spinach or rocket salad) have become one of my favourite dinners. This weekend I discovered mochi, sweet rice filled with peanut butter or coconut (or bean paste, but I'm not a big fan of this). Leading on from there I searched the web for more things Japanese & somehow stumbled upon the word "macrobiotic". I was fascinated.

I've bought the book "The Kind Diet" (by Alicia Silverstone) a few weeks ago, it's nice & a great introduction to veganism & macrobiotics. The whole vegan stuff I already knew, but it was still good to read that I'm doing the right thing. She calls macrobiotic foods "Superhero foods", which in a way they are because they do so much for you. Despite all of that, I doubt that I'll become a full macrobiotic devotee anytime soon - it's much more complicated than just being vegan. But I'm intending to incorporate some of it into my current diet & started with having miso soup for my at-home-breakfast (I have a proper breakfast at work) instead of my smoothie which was giving me a bit of an unwanted sugar kick in the morning. It took a bit of experimenting, finding the right type of miso (shiromiso is great as it's not too offensively strong) & dosage (about 1 teaspoon per cup seems to work quite well). I don't use dashi stock as a base just yet because I don't have it, but just the paste is alright so far.

Unfortunately my period started yesterday & since then my stomach has turned into a bottomless pit. It does that sometimes & not matter how much I eat, it isn't enough. This really annoys me as I've been quite good recently & think I actually lost a bit of weight - I don't want to gain it all again just because my hormones are going a bit mental. So after 2 days of pigging out I've promised myself to be good again tomorrow (I'm not going to eat any more tonight, no way).

After all, there is a holiday to go to in a week & I want to wear my summer clothes without feeling like a sausage...

Hiding

Ok, this whole getting myself out there & being sociable thing so didn't work. It was more like that I just wanted to curl up in my bed every evening after work. Oh, and stick the heating on. And wear the most baggy & cozy clothes I could find.

I did do yoga twice so far & I actually think my eating healthy (well, trying to) is paying off as my jeans aren't quite as tight as they were after Christmas. They're still far from loose & comfy, though. I've got huge plans for when I come back from holiday. There will be a cleanse & a sugar detox (coz that stuff is evil) - people might want to stay as far away as possible when I do this. I'm also planning on joining the gym at work, it only costs £15 or so, my fitness levels are far from desirable at the moment & anything that makes me feel less sluggish is good.

On a totally different note, my brother is planning a visit to London. I'm seriously excited about this & already hunting for amazing stuff to show him & events to take him to. Having people come visit me always makes me nervous. I want them to have an amazing time & very much feel responsible if they don't.

In terms of holiday preparation, I think I'm almost there. I've got a travel insurance (although I'm not convinced that they're actually going to be of much help if something happens), I've changed all my in-flight meals to vegetarian (which for Emirates equals vegan, they're not taking any chances) & I've told my bank that I'm intending to use my card abroad. Still need to let my credit card company know & buy some of them cute little travel-size toiletries. Oh, and I obviously still need to panic, I'm planning to start doing this about 3 days prior to take-off.

Plans for this weekend include watching TV (tonight), a games night in North London (tomorrow) & a potential trip to Camden (Sunday, if the weather is nice). I'm also getting a haircut. Yay.

And now please excuse me while I snuggle up under my amazing duvet.

Hibernating Cat Is Hibernating

I'm totally antisocial at the moment. I might've turned into a hermit. I blame January.

That said, I seem to either be less stressed or just coping better, I didn't have as many braindeadness this week. But I'm still not very much in the mood for socialising or even leaving the house. It's gone cold again and until today it was grey & unpleasant outside. So I've basically just been coming home after work & hiding in my room where it's warm & cosy.

I've done yoga 3 times this week & I'm actually starting to want to do it in the evening. I'm quite impressed at myself. Unfortunately my right ankle is kinda borked, it's been all hurty & stiff last week and since then hasn't really recovered. I'm not sure if yoga is favourable or just making it worse, very much hope that I manage to get it sorted (by taking anti-inflammatories) in the next 2 weeks.

After doing my best bear-in-winter impression for most of the week I decided that I have to at least trek into town this weekend for a bit of pre-holiday shopping. I was totally out of white t-shirts (they always seem to die first) and also needed a t-shirt bra or two as my old ones don't fit (to be honest, they never really fitted that well). Cue a bit of a shopping disaster. I got sucked in by the sale at La Senza & ended up buying two bras that I really shouldn't have bought. This shop seems to only sell padded bras anyway & the ones I got my hands on were majorly bolstered. And, being a size 36DD in that shop (turns out I'm only a D at H&M), the last thing I need is any more padding. Trying out these bras under a tight t-shirt at home resulted in a massive giggling fit & some Pam Anderson impressions, but there was just no way I could sensibly wear them on holiday. I'd also found some cheaper & nicer bras at H&M, so those monsters had to be returned. I also got myself a quite cute bikini (blue with white polka dots, 50s style with a little skirt over the bottoms) & misjudged the size of my bottom somewhat & needed a bigger size. AND I got one bra in white that after a bit of thinking I'd rather have in black. All in all, total lingerie chaos.

I was entirely more successful with the t-shirts & even found a blouse or two. I also managed to emerge out of Whole Foods with only the stuff on my shopping list, although I was very tempted to buy the organic curly kale that was sitting in the fresh produce section looking all vibrant green & luscious (I need help). I sourced umeboshi vinegar in the Japan Centre, again without giving in to temptation to buy loads of other stuff as well.

In the evening I cooked a very delicious pumpkin (erm, butternut squash, couldn't find a pumpkin anywhere) noodle casserole, half of which is now in the freezer for days I can't be arsed to cook.

Due to the La Senza situation I bussed it to Westfield today & returned & exchanged stuff. I now have fitting bikini bottoms & a new black bra. The girl in the shop actually told me that I was lucky to find a bra in the sale "in your size" (thank you very much). I'm starting to reconsider shopping there again...

Once I was in the shopping centre it would've been rude not to have a little look around. I've got myself a travel guide for my upcoming trip to India and a new vegan cookbook, with pictures this time. Most of my cookbooks don't have photos of the food in them because I don't need them to know how a dish will taste - just reading the ingredients list does the trick. And my dishes rarely look like they glossy food in the picture, anyway (I'm a bit rubbish at presentation). But I've been so uninspired lately that I figured I need a bit of visual help. I'm looking forward to try some of the dishes & hope they do come out as tasty as they look.

After I got back I got busy doing the laundry & dyeing my hair, I even cooked a stir-fry for tomorrow.

Maybe I just needed a weekend of shopping & taking care of myself.