Wednesday 10 October 2012

No Use For A Title


I wish my head would stop feeling like a clogged up sink. There's all these thoughts that could become stories if I'd only managed to get the movie in my head transformed into words that are more than a quick outline. It's so annoying, but I just can't find a way to make the words flow easily again.

Not sure if it's got anything to do with what my life is doing at the moment, I'm kinda busy at work and occasionally stressed at home, mainly due to the fact that my flatmate's boyfriend lover fuckbuddy keeps hanging out at ours because he lives in a fucking hostel and of course our flat's nicer and she's crazy/in love enough with him that she's happy about it. I know it's bad and I shouldn't even think it, but I really wish they'd stop seeing each other. I can't even explain why I don't like him, I see him and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I just want to leave the room. Which is what I did last weekend when they joined me in the living room. They didn't get the hint. I've now taken to blatantly tell my flatmate that she should keep him the fuck away from me, but our flat is small and just his presence is pissing me off. They're loud and even though I try to blank it out as much as possible, but I can still hear him spouting bullshit and her giggling because she believes him. Argh.

A propos spouting bullshit, the guy that's been chasing me for months now (because until a few weeks ago he was married and I've got principles and I wasn't that insanely interested in the first place) came over last weekend after a spontaneous texting session and me being horny enough to consider it. I'd like to say the build-up lived up to reality, but unfortunately it really didn't. He's pretty 'n all, but he's so full of himself it's almost funny (if it wasn't so sad) and I'm convinced he actually thinks I believed a word he was saying. Needless to say, the sex was rather unimpressive but it was sex and I needed to get laid, so there's that. He gets a point for persistence but unfortunately zero points for personality or performance. Won't be calling him again, then.

On a more cheerful note and decidedly better on the sexytimes scales was a text message exchange with a lovely and very sexy friend of mine. Not only was it an awesome distraction at work today, it was also very inspirational in terms of writing and so very very HOT (at one point I had to escape to the toilet because ohmyfuckinggod I needed to catch my breath). I need more texts and friends like that, my life would be perfect.

While I haven't been writing an awful lot, I have been trailing the interwebs for stuff to read. It's kinda comforting that there's a lot of really not that great fic around, which makes me feel better about being a perfectionist and the feedback I get, but it's also annoying because I need nice stories to keep me distracted. It's so weird that I have been reading constantly for months now, but haven't bought a book for just as long. I'm tempted to get some literature on my kindle soon, but I fear I'll be endlessly disappointed that there's not sex in the story.

Other noteworthy things that happened:

  • A Burning Man planning session, it's looking good but it's still so far away that all kinds of shit can happen, so I'm trying to not get too excited *is excited*
  • I've met a friend's new bf and he's nice and I can see that he's really good for her. I wish I could find someone that I can fall in love with that also falls in love with me, I don't know how other people do it.
  • I seem to have agreed to accompany a friend to a Fields Of The Nephilim gig in a fit of madness. Bring on the goth!
  • My excitement that I'm going to see The Used at least twice (most likely 3 times) in November knows no boundaries *is extremely excited, even more than for Burning Man because it's next month and not next year*



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