The Edges Of The World

This week has been a totally mixed bag. I think I might've messed up my probation *again*, due to sending out a report with data that I thought was ok, but actually it wasn't. Apparently one department had known all day, but had neglected to tell anyone else. I thought the data looked a bit dodgy, but it had been looking like that since a week ago, so decided to send out the report. Big mistake. I don't know if they can really hold me responsible for this, as I honestly didn't know about the missing data logs that were causing problems, but they're probably going to say I should've spotted discrepancies etc. etc.

Due to all of that, I've spent the last 4 days nervous & quite anxious & really not very relaxed. I do like the job, although working with a certain person is hard, stressful & not very fulfilling at the moment. But the rest of his team are nice, I feel like I can move something. I'm very worried that my boss is going to tell me tomorrow that they're not going to make me permanent.

I have decided that, no matter what happens next week or on the 23rd (the official end of my probation), I'm going to try & get certified as a translator. It'll mean studying & exams again, something I thought I had left for good when I started working, but it would also give me a second leg to stand on, career wise. I'm not sure if I'm actually cut out for corporate life.

So, at the moment the light at the end of the tunnel quite possibly could turn out to be a train.

In addition to that, I'm preparing for moving to Acton next weekend. I've packed half of my room, have to sort out actually details for the man&van early next week, the furniture is built & as soon as Lynn has the hoover fixed I'll clean my room to get it ready to move in.

Oh, and I'll get the permanent crown fixed next week as well.

Not sure if that's what they mean when they say when it rains it pours. I'm glad when August is over, no matter which way things go, at least they're settled. This uncertainty is killing me, I just want to sit down & relax & just not have to worry anymore.

To get my mind off things for a little while, I met up with John today to do some culture. We hit the Hayward for Ernesto Neto's "The Edges Of The World", which also featured some Design exhibition which threw up the age-old question what actually should be considered art. We weren't exactly sure, but we were certain that none of the exhibits excited us much. Ernesto Neto, though, was stunning. You could touch it, smell it (cinammon, lavender...), walk through it & over it. It was so much fun!

To round the day off, we ate some al-fresco sushi at SoBa. While all of this didn't totally relax me, it was nice.

My boss is back tomorrow, I'm very apprehensive going to work & having a meeting with him. I so hope that everything turns out alright.

Wish me luck!