Sideways

It's actually been 3 months until I last posted. Wow. And it's not even that I don't have anything to report, I just keep getting distracted by... errr... stuff. Loads of stuff. Interesting stuff. Most of it in my head and on the interwebs, but quite a bit also in real life.

So, where to start. Yes, my hormones are still a bit out of whack. Slightly more than a bit out, really. Or maybe they're just gone back to normal, I remember feeling like this when I last went off the pill, so I guess that's my normal setting and whatever I was like/feeling before was the chemically subdued version. No, I'm not depressed. Far from it, actually. It's more that I've gone sideways, in very interesting ways. Off kilter, occasionally, but never in a bad way, although it's been quite a ride sometimes. Can't believe that artificial hormones actually made me less crazy. Well, the crazies are back and there's no way I'm going back to what it was before, I feel better and more alive. But yeah, there's been some things happening that probably wouldn't have if I'd stayed on the pill.

No need to look worried now. I'm not.

It started with me developing a sudden very active interest in pretty actors. That interest was always there in the background, I like pretty boys, I just got a bit more behind the thought than I've done in quite a few years. As mentioned in the last post, I internet-stalked Jared Leto pretty thoroughly, bordering on obsessive, although I'd never admit that in front of a jury.

This lead to me downloading and watching most of his movies (he hasn't made that many) and checking out his band 30 Seconds To Mars. They're good. Really good. Not all of it, but most of it. Kinda bummed I just missed their pretty mahoosive tour and didn't discover them like 5 years ago when they played tiny venues instead of arenas, but yeah, can't change that now. Listening to their music reminded me how much I love punk rock, which has now made it's way back on to my playlist. Heck, the fact that I've got a playlist again is pretty much due to my recent discovery of 30STM. I'm rather grateful for that.

Anyway, so I've googled Jared Leto loads, to get an idea of what he's like and what he's been up to. And yeah, pretty pictures there too, that man is shirtless like always. And he's got a penchant for wearing skirts. I like men in skirts. He's a sneaky bastard when it comes to his private life, not much to get out of interviews but can't really blame him for that. He does look cute while talking, though, and wow, that man's got a hell of a dirty mouth. According to certain websites he is kinky as fuck and hung like a horse (hey, not complaining about that thought at all), but that may be all lies. It's the internet, after all. And then, well, then I found the slash communities. I'm not proud of that and in my defense would like to state that I was shocked and appalled for a good few seconds, but fuck, some of the shit out there is awesome. I possibly spent every free minute in the last month or so reading smut. Good smut. Inspiring smut. Kinky smut (the best kind of smut). Did I mention smut? I like saying smut. Rolls of the tongue very smoothly.

Oh, now you really look worried. Honestly, I'm fine.
Are you googling Jared Leto now to see what I'm talking about?

My mind has descended into the gutter and is now totally refusing to come out because it likes it down there. I've got slash fics on my kindle (what better place to read porn than on the tube?) and even contemplated started writing some slash fiction of my own. Watch this space.
Actually, don't watch this space, I won't be posting slash here, but I can let you know where to find it if you ask nicely.

To even things out a bit and quieten down the voices in my head (not the bad kind of voices, mine usually don't tell me to kill people, they just talk on top of each other a lot and occasionally play music very loud), I've started going to Bikram Yoga again. Twice a week because anything more means I've got no private life. Can't believe how much I missed stretching and working out in an insanely hot and humid room. It makes my body break less and getting more flexible is never a bad thing. And yeah, my mind is calm for at least 60 of the 90 minutes, which is a plus.

I'm still working on letting the inner rock chick out, seem to be getting distracted by raves too much. There was an awesome one last weekend that I've only just recovered from (it was a pretty epic afterparty, too). But it's not forgotten.

There's some more stuff going on behind the scenes that's a bit too raw and/or top secret to talk about right now.

But yeah, I'm still alive and the men with the straight-jackets haven't got me (yet).

All's good.