Still Crazy

The craziness monkeys are still swinging from my every branch. Please move on, nothing to see here.

Actually, I think it's getting less intense. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it. There's only really about 3 days in the month where I feel like I did when I was on the pill, it seems to follow something of a curve. Or a wave.

It feels like I get manic episodes, only that I'm pretty sure that you don't get manic without the depressed coming in as well, and it's not as intense as I imagine a manic episode to be, and I definitely don't get the depressed unless I bring it on myself by fucking up my brain chemistry. So that doesn't count. I do feel a tad hyper occasionally and it would be nice if my sleep pattern would just resort to civilized hours, but I keep messing that one up on weekends, too, which makes it partly entirely my fault. I'm pretty happy through all of that, though. There has been considerably more bounce in my life recently.

And I've found ways to make my brain calm down, at least for a bit. Yeah, yeah.

On another, related note, I currently spend significant amounts of time at work fantasizing about having sex with one of my colleagues in a storage cupboard. Not sure if we even have storage cupboards, but I'm sure I could find something appropriate should it ever get necessary to do so. It's totally out of the question that it would come up, it would be foolish to start anything with someone at work, but the thought has so far entertained me for hours. Days. He is rather pretty. Actually, there's another one that I wouldn't say no to, either. Hmmm. And just so we're clear here, I don't harbor any romantic feelings towards them at all, it's not a crush. I don't even like one of them that much, he's just plain hot. I probably need help.

As for my mind, yep, unsurprisingly that's still hanging out in the gutter. It has made friends and is contemplating buying an apartment there. Turns out that the fanfic I found when I first started looking was the icing on the cake, I've found more but it's not quite as good. What it all boils down to is that I probably have to start writing myself, or more like, finish the two stories I've started. Unfortunately I'm currently suffering from a bit of a writer's block, so I'm still hunting for more stuff to read and get inspired while I get over it.

Also, for some reason my online dating profile has attracted a few (!) candidates that I'd actually like to meet. Seeing that my ventures into online dating have so far produced 2 dates in 2 years, that was a bit of a surprise. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting less picky. And it's not like I'm making more effort...

But before I go on any dates *gasp* I'm going out raving tomorrow. I'm rather looking forward to that, although I have to be careful not to break myself to badly because I got stuff™ to do next week.

As you were.